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No. CCCLXXXY. 


FRENCH'S STANDARD DRAMA. 


PS 3354 
.W8665 
S6 

Copy 1 


Clie feting dB&itioK* 


THE 


SOCIAL GLASS; 


OR, 


VICTIMS OF THE BOTTLE. 


31 iDrarna, tn JFtoc 3Utis. 


BY 


T. TRASK WOODWARD. 


LONDON: 


NEW YORK: 

SAMUEL FRENCH & SON, Samuel French, 

PUBLISHERS, 

38 East 14th St,, Union Square, 


PUBLISHER., 

89 STRAND. 


IVIYX-T^JE-TTIE 3 

Containing Rouge, Pearl Powder, Whiting, Mongolian, Ruddy Rouge, Violet Powder 
Box and Puff; Chrome, Blue, Burnt Cork Pencils for the eyelids, Spirit Gum, India Ink, 
Darnel Hair Brushes, Hare’s Foot, Wool, Craped Hair, Cold Cream, Joining Paste, Min* 
iature Puffs, Scissors and Looking Glass, packed neatly in Strong Fancy Card-board 
Boxes, $4.00 ; Elegant Tin Cases, $5.00. 

THE ABOVE ARTICLES TO BE HAD SEPARATELY. FOR PRICES, SEE CATALOGUE. 


























No Plays Exchanged or Sent on Approval. 


INTERNATIONAL 

DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE 



AND 


DRAMATIC WORKS, 

With a Descriptive List of Amateur Plays and Articles . 


CONTENTS 


Page. 


Amateur Dramas, Comedies, etc.... 32 

Amateur Operas. 42 

Articles Needed by Amateurs. 45 

Beards, Whiskers, Mustaches, etc... 47 

Bits of Burlesque. 38 

Bound se ft ' of Plays. 14 

Bulwer Lytton’s Plays. 24 

Burlesque Dramas. 42 

Burnt Cork. 45 

Charade Plays. 38 

Colored Fire and Tableaux Lights... 45 
Comic Dramas for Male Char. oniy. 42 

Costume Books. 25 

Cumberland’s Edition. 19 

Darkey Dramas. 39 

Dramas for Boys. 42 

Drawing Room Plays. 25 

Elocution Reciters and Speakers.... 44 

Ethiopian Dramas. 39 

Evening’s Entertainment. 40 

Fairy Plays. 40 

French’s Edition. 2 

French’s English Operas. 42 

French’s Italian Operas. 37 

French’s Standard Minor Drama.... 14 

French’s Parlor Comedies. 41 

Frobisher’s Popular Recitals. 45 

Guide Books for Amateurs. 41 

Grand Army Dramas.... 36 

G rease P amts. .. 48 

Home Plays for Ladies. 41 


Page 


How to “ Make-up ”. 48 

How We Managed our Private Thea¬ 
tricals. 36 

Iris! Plays. . . 36 

Ju”enile Plays. 40 

Lacy’s Costumes. 26 

Magnesium Tableaux Lights. 45 

Make-up Box. 48 

Miscellaneous Books. 25 

Miscellaneous Editions of Flays,...... 24 

Miscellaneous Plaj s. . 13 

Mrs. Jarley’s Wax’ Works. 24 

New Plays. 14 

Nigger Jokes and Stump Speeches... 40 

Parior Magic. 41 

Parlor Pantomimes... 44 

Pieces of Pleasantry. 38 

Plays for Male Characters only. 37 

Round Games . 41 

Scenes for Amateurs. 25 

Scriptural and Historical Dramas... 42 

Sensation Dramas. 38 

Serio-Comic Dramas. 42 

Shadow Pantomimes. 43 

Shakespeare’s Plays. 37 

Sheet Music. 43 

Tableaux Vivants. 37 

Temperance Plays. 23 

Theatrical Face Preparations. 46 

Vocal Music of Shakespeare’s Plays. 43 


Wigs. 47 


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No. CCCLXXXV. 


FRENCH’S STANDARD DRAMA. 

f 

THE ACTING EDITION . 


THE SOCIAL GLASS; 

ou, 

VICTIMS OF THE BOTTLE. 

THE GREAT SENSATIONAL TEMPERANCE DRAMA , 

Jit J|ibc §tcts, 



T. TRASK WOODWARD. 

* If M 

i 


Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the Office of the Congressional 
Librarian, in the year 1880, by T. Trask Woodward. 


New York : 

SAMUEL FRENCH & SON, 

PUBLISHERS, 

38 E. 11th St., Union Square. 


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an 




THE SOCIAL GLASS; 


OK, 


“VTOTIIMIS OB TIEEE BOTTLE. 

BY 

T. TEASK WCODWAED. 

-- 

COMMENTARY. 


Jeffersonville, Ind., Feb 5, 1879. 

Having been present at the rendering of Mr. Woodward’s drama, entitled 
“The Social Glass,” at the Masonic Temple, Louisville, Ky., on the 1st, I am 
prepared to give it my indorsement as being an impressive temperance lecture, 
calculated to do good. Rev. j, SULLIVAN. 

Louisville, Ky., Feb. 5, 1879. 

We, the undersigned, cheerfully indorse the above from Brother Sullivan, 
and would add that we heartily commend Mr. T. Trask Woodward to the Chris¬ 
tian and Temperance public. His drama is, without doubt, the best temperance 
play produced. Rev. J. CLARENCE GILL, 

Rev. C. H. J. GWINN. 


The play is a good one, while the moral is well calculated to make a good 
impression'upon an audience .—Louisville Commercial. 

Mr. Woodward is an old actor and an excellent manager. His drama is a 
good one, and is sure to draw crowded houses wherever produced .—Louisville 
Mews. 


The play is a good one and enforces its moral. It is worthy of patronage. 
The author is a very clever gentleman .—Louisville Courier-Journal. 

The drama entitled “The Social Glass, or Victims of the Bottle,” is above 
the average of modern dramas .—Louisville Sunday Argus. 

Mrs. Woodward’s “Nettleby” was a fine piece of character acting.— Frank- 
fort Banner. 

In the production of the drama, “The Social Glass,” Mr. Woodward, the 
author has made a hit. It is better than “ Ten Nights in a Bar-room,” and the 
temperance people everywhere cannot do better than to encourage the produc¬ 
tion of this play .—Frankfort Crescent. 

The play is the best of its class. Replete with fine sentiment, spiced with 
humor .—Effingham (111.) Republican. 

The characters are life-like and fully portray the evils which lie hidden in 
the social glass and the fearful sufferings of the victims of the bottle. —Dan¬ 
ville (1111.) Commercial. 

The play is all that is claimed for it—the best temperance drama on the 
boards.— Casey (111.) Banner. 

The drama “The Social Glass,” drew crowded houses at the Opera House 
t-wf week Our amateurs were well up in their lines and rendered therr respective 
* nrfs {„ H ne gtvle exhibiting a pronounced improvement under the instructions 
St Mr W^dward, the author of the play. Mr W. was formerly an actor and 
manager. He excels as a dramatist and comedian.-Seymour (Ind.) Monitor- 

Journal. 

The drama, “The Social Glass,” at the Opera House last week was an im¬ 
mense success and drew crowded houses. All the characters did jd Mi. 
Wnndw-ird the author of the play, assumed the character of Bob Buttle, <i 
sta (r e-struck, would-be actor and author, and kept the house m a roar ol roof- 
heaving, button-bursting laughter.— Seymour (Ind.) Il-pi bAtui. 













THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


ACT I. 


SCENE. — Thornley's sitting-room. Set in 4th Groove. Card 
table l. Wine table or sideboard R., on which are four wine 

bottles , glasses , cigars , matches , cards , and salver. Four 
chairs. Easy chair r. Sofa at bach. Eva opens with 
modern ballad , if talent will permit; if not , clock strikes 
seven when curtain is up. Curtain rises to lively music. 

Eva. So late, and my dear Charles not returned to tea ! 
What can detain him ? It is but two weeks since our return 
from our wedding-tour, and he late to supper. Perhaps busi¬ 
ness detains him. ( Door-bell .) But why do I find fault ? That 
must be him ringing the door-bell. (Rises, comes down e.) 

[Enter Charles l. 2 e. Exchange greetings. Charles sits .] 

Charles. Am I late, darling Eva ? Well, you must excuse me, 
for my old friend Hadley detained me ; and would you believe 
it, Eva, he really gave me a long temperance lecture ; tried to 
persuade me to banish wine from our house, especially from our 
social parties. (Eva leaning over him at r.) 

Eva. I am inclined to think that Harold Hadley is right; 
for there is but a small share of the poverty and crime existing 
but what is caused directly or indirectly by intoxicating drinks. 

Chas. (Laughing.) Why, Eva, you quite surprise me. With 
a little training you would become a first-class temperance lec¬ 
turer. However, there is no danger of my becoming a drunk¬ 
ard. So let the matter drop, and we will go to tea ; for I ex¬ 
pect visitors to-night. 

Eva. Do not be angry with me, Charles, for I have thought 
very seriously of this subject for some time ; and I wish you to 
weigh the matter well and think of our future ; for I feel 
assured that after due reflection you will conclude to banish for¬ 
ever the wine bottle from our house. (Chart.es rising angrily.) 



6 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


Chas. Come, come, Eva, you are really becoming too seri¬ 
ous. What is the matter with you ? I do believe the “ Pray¬ 
ing Band ” have been here. 

Eva. Do not scoff, Charles. Look at the history of some of 
our town folk, who began life in good circumstances, but had 
their little parties, with w’ine and cards, little dreaming that 
they were sowing the seed of poverty, disgrace, and ruin. Now 
some of them fill drunkards 1 graves ; others are outcasts , their 
families dependent upon charity, or in the almshouse ; and but 
very few have banished the wine cup from their homes, and 
become temperance men. 

Chas. Well, well, Eva, I will think of the matter, and per¬ 
il a ps— 

[Enter Brittle, l. 2 e.] 

Bob Brittle. Here's the mail, Mister Charles. {Handing 
letters.) 

Chas. Very well, Robert, I will read my letters while at tea. 
Do not go out again to-night, for I expect visitors. Come, 
Eva, I am as hungry as a half-starved wolf. 

[Exit Charles and Eva r. 2 e. Bob watches them off .) 

Bob. {Solus.) Going to have visitors, eh ? Well, Bob Brit¬ 
tle knows what that means. It is wine, euchre, cigars, and late 
hours to-night, and a headache and soda cocktail to-morrow 
morning. Now, Mister Charles is a fine young man, but he 
hain’t sowed all his wild oats yet, and I kinder hate to see him 
go to the bad ; because I am kinder related to him—my father 
was his father’s gardener. I don’t exactly know what relation 
that is ; but when my honorable old daddy died, old Mr. 
Thornley gave me a home here—Heaven bless him ! But if 
Mister Charles don’t hold his horses, he’ll get to be a regular 
guzzler. Then there’s that Squire Hollis ; he is administrator of 
all Charles’ fortune, and if he don’t keep his head pretty level 
old Hollis ’ll skin him out of his eye teeth. However, I will 
keep my eye on that sly fox, and if he comes any of his shenan- 
digs over my young master, I’ll yank him into the middle of 
next huckleberry time. Yes ! 

If he doth act the traitor’s part, 

I’ll shove my dagger in his heart. 

{Strikes attitude.) 

[Enter Nettie Nettleby l. 2 e., dressed gaudily. Bob strides 
r., exhibiting disgust and impatience .] 

N. N. How do you do, Mr. Brittle ? How’s all the folks ? 
I saw that they weie at tea, so came right in. How are the 
newly married couple? How is Mrs. Thornley after her wed¬ 
ding tour ? How is Mr. Charles ? They do say that he is just 
as wild as ever. But, Bob, if he don't stop drinking wine he’ll 
got to be a regular tippler. (Bob, stopping his ears , uatchea 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


V 


% 


her.) I declare, if here ain’t wine on the table. ( Goes to table , 
examines icine.) I don’t approve of wine-drinking, but this 
looks like our communion beverage. {Pours and drinks.) I de¬ 
clare, if that isn’t nice ! That’s pure communion wine ; that 
won’t intoxicate ; that’s so refreshing, I’ll take another swal¬ 
low. (Pours and drinks.) 

Bob. (Aside.) ’Twouldn’t take many such swallows to make 
a bucketful. 

N. N. (Coming down to Bob.) Why don’t you speak to a 
body ? 

Bob. Garrulous feminine, avaunt ! and haunt me not ! 

N. N. (Aside. ) Oh, the stage-struck fool ! ISowBob, don’t 
be unsocial. I called to get the news, and do all the good I 
could, for you know I do like to make folks happy. 

Bob. (Bowing.) Yes, a lady fair of great renown, 

(Aside.) She peddles all the gossip of the town. 

[ Enter Eva b. 2 e. ] 

1ST. N. How do you do, Mrs. Thornlcy. How odd it sounds 
to call you Mrs. Thornley. 

Bob. (Aside.) There she goes again ; her tongue is hung on 
a pivot and runs round and round. 

Eva. (To N. N.) Excuse me one moment. (To Bob.) 
Robert, Mr. Thornley desires your presence in the library. 
(Rob hows and turns to r. 2 e.) 

Bob. If that gossip is going to remain long I will have to go 
for an undertaker. 

The most terrible pest that e’er to man has clung, 

Is a female gossip, with a lying tongue. 

[ Exit Bob r. 2 e. 

N. N. I wonder how you can keep such a stage-struck fool 
as that Bob Brittle ; and,they do say that he gets drunk on your 
wine sometimes ; but then I don’t believe all I hear. Umph ! 
I do like to make folks happy. 

Eva. Why, I never knew him to be drunk in my life. 

N. N. Well, folks will talk, you know ; and they do say that 
your husband gets too much wine sometimes ; but then lie’s 
young and may outgrow it. Umph ! 1 do like to make folks 

happy. 

Eva. Has the tongue of scandal already commenced an at¬ 
tack upon my husband ? (Eva exhibiting displeasure.) 

N. N. I see that you are going to ask me to take a seat and 
take off my things, but I can’t stop. I must go down and see 
Widow Simpson ; her son Willie has been stealing, and I must 
rro down and sympathize with her, and tell her all they do sav 
about it. By the way, I believe that Willie Simpson is a cousin 
to your husband ; but then it ought not to disgrace him if his 
relations do get into the penitentiary. But I must go. 
Umph ! I do like to make folks happy. f fivit t- 2 k. 


8 


TIIE SOCIAL GLASS. 




Eva. O Heaven ! the tongue of scandal already set in motion 
about my dear husband, and then poor Widow Simpson. If 
her son has got into trouble it will break her heart. ( Enter 
Charles r. 2 e.) Oh, Charles, have you heard the story of 
your cousin Willie Simpson’s stealing ? 

Chas. No ; but Willie Simpson received a large reward to¬ 
day for detecting a man in the act of robbing Judge Wilford’s 
safe, and causing the burglar’s arrest. But where did you hear 
the absurd story of his stealing ? 

Eva. Miss Nettleby was here and informed me. 

Chas. Her presence would account for almost any amount of 
gossip. She is rightly named Nettie Nettleby, for she nettles 
every one she meets. 

Eva. She certainly caused me to feel very uncomfortable. 
But as your visitors are to be gentlemen only to-night. I will 
retire to the library to write a few letters. ( Crosses to r. 2 wing 
slowly. Returns to Charles and affectionately places hand 'upon 
Charles’ shoulder.) Charles, do not drink too much wine to¬ 
night, or entertain your friends late. [Knit sloicly r. 2 e. 

Chas. (Solus.) Well, well, Eva is fast becoming a temper¬ 
ance lecturer. What does it all mean ? Every one seems over¬ 
anxious about my course of life ; and yet I am a temperate man 
—only a little wine now and then — occasionally a night at 
euchre with a social party—merely these. Yet everybody prates 
at me. But pshaw ! I will drive this foolishness from my mind 
with a glass of wine. ( Goes to wine table , pours wine. When 
about to drink calls u Robert /” Enter Robert r. 2 e., while 
Charles is drinking.) If any of my friends call, seat them in 
this room. Arrange the cards, wine, and cigars. I will soon 
return. (Exit l. 2 e. 

Bob. (Solus. Watching him off. Laughing.) Mister Charles, 
you are a wild youth, and you will have to stop it. You haven’t 
got a copper-clad stomach the same as I have. Now old 
Grandpa Brittle used to tell old Grandma Brittle that “ what 
was good for the goose was good for the gander so what is 
good for the master is good for the man. (Drinks from bottle.) 
Ah ! it comes kinder natural for me to drink out of a bottle, 
for I was brought up that way. Oh, ho ! you bring a young 
fellow up on green peas and he is sure to hanker after them. 
(Door-bell.) There’s some one at the door. [Exit. l. 2 e. 

[Re-enters, followed by James Hollis.] 

Bob. This way, Squire Hollis ; this way, sir. (Places easy 
chair.) Take a seat, sir. Take a seat. Mister Charles will 
soon be in. (Bob exits suddenly l. 2 e. Hollis goes to wine 
table , examines, takes c.) 

Hollis. (Solus.) So, so : cards, wine, and cigars 1 Thornley 
is said to be. very fast, and here is the proof. This is as I 
ould have it. Charles once an inebriate is in my power ; for. 


TIIE SOCIAL GLASS. 


9 


being the administrator of the vast estate left him by his father, 

I can easily transfer the bulk of it to my own purse. Then, Mrs. 
Eva Thornley, with a drunken brute for a husband, and re¬ 
duced to poverty and disgrace, you will regret the day that you 
spurned the hand of the wealthy and influential James Hollis. 
{Enter Bob l. 2 e. Hollis crosses to l. Bob to n. Aside.) 
Now to question the servant! Robert, how do you like your 
situation with Mr. Thornley ? 

Bob. {Aside.) What is the sly fox at now ? Oh, very well, 
very well, sir ; but I only hold the situation until something 
better comes to me. In fact, I am like Micawber, “ waiting for 
something to turn up.” 

IIol. And then like him— 

Bob. Like him, “ I’ll hang my banners on the outer walls 
and defy the world.” 

Hol. Why, Robert, I see that you are possessed of much 
dramatic talent ; you should become an actor. 

Bob. Hist ! hush ! I am going to become an actor. I am 
already an author. You shall hear the plot of my great seven¬ 
teen-act drama. It takes three nights and a matinee to play it, 
introducing 125 actors, 200 supernumeraries, and a full ballet 
troupe—gorgeous scenery— 

Hol. Well, well, Robert, come to my office and explain 
it. I will appoint a time, and if I can assist you in producing 
it, I will. But I see that you have a variety of wine on the 
table. Which does your master usually prefer ? {Both nearing 
table. Bob holds up bottle.) 

Bob. Oh, his is old sherry. Yes, old sherry is his style. 
{Familiarly leading down c.) And you’ll assist me in producing 
my drama—oh, I am a made man. I have my name in big let¬ 
ters on the bills—Robert Brittle, Esq., actor and author. 
{Boor-Mi rings. Bob crosses to l. Hollis to r.) Oh, hang 
that bell ! 

Hear it not, Duncan, for it is a knell, 

That summons you to heaven or to- 

{Bell again.) Coming, sir. [ Exit suddenly l. 2 e. 

Hol. Well, he is stage-struck surely. But if I can mould 
him to my purpose, he will be a useful tool to have .about. He 
said that Charles preferred sherry. {Tales paper from pocket , 
pours contents into sherry bottle , replacing powder paper in pocket. 
Shakes bottle. Sits in easy chair.) So, so ; all is well. 

[Enter Ciiables followed by Farley, Dr. Slater and Bob, 
singing and exhibiting first stages of drunkenness. Any lively 
song will do. Courtesies of society, etc.] 

Chas. Good evening. I am sorry to have kept you waiting, 
Squire Hollis. Here’s our worthy host of the Rising Sun 
Hotel, and his guest Dr. Slater. But as you arc all old ac¬ 
quaintances, we will throw ceremony to the dogs, and draw' up 


10 


TIIE SOCIAL GLASS. 


to the table. ( All seed . Charles r. front. Hollis at 
Charles’ l. Slater to l. front. Farley at his r.) Robert ! 
the wine ! (Bob brings wine on salver. Four bottles and four 
glasses.) Fill up, gents. Here’s Rhine, port, sherry, ancl 
Madeira. {All fill and. raise glasses.) 

Hol. Gentlemen, while we congratulate our worthy friend 
Thornley upon his acquisition to such a valuable piece of prop¬ 
erty as a beautiful young wife, and his safe arrival from his 
wedding tour, we will drink to his and his worthy bride’s 
future happiness and prosperity. {Touch glasses and drink.) 

Ciias. Fill up again, gents. {Business repeated.) Here’s to 
the Rising Sun Hotel ! Long may it flourish ! {Repeat 
business.) 

Omnes. Good ! good ! 

Farley. Thornley, your port is the be'st I ever tasted. I 
wish that I had a few barrels of as good in my cellar. 

Slater. And, surely, the Rhine cannot be beat. 

Hol. And the Madeira surpasses all that I have ever tasted. 

Ciias. {Laughing.) I don’t see how you can judge the quality, 
Squire, for the quantity in your glass was almost imperceptible. 

Hol. I never drink heavy. My head will not bear it. {All 
laugh and deride him.) But then I do love the sociality of it. 
We all have our little failings, you know. ( Laugh repeated.) 

Ciias. Well, All up again, gents ; and then then for a game 
of euchre. {All drink.) Robert, take away the wine. (Bob 
obeys.) Pass the cigars. (Bob obeys all orders.) Gents, have a 
smoke. Pass the cards, Robert. Shall we cut for partners ? 

Far. Ho ; we will slay as we sit. W e are partners, Thorn¬ 
ley. (Charles shuffles. Slater cuts. Charles deals a euchre 
hand. Calls the trump. Hollis passes.) 

Far. I play it alone. (Charles bunches his hand.) 

Sla. Well, Squire, I think that we can warm them. 

Far. Play to the two bowers and the ace {Throwing three 
cards. Hollis and Slater do the same.) How to the ten and 
the eight. {Throwing remaining cards, they doing same.) Ha! 
a march ! Chalk us four, Thornley. (Charles and Farley 
shake hands across table, chaffing Hollis and Slater with “ Oh 
ho ! we can warm them,” etc. During this scene Bob watches 
the game and steals a drink when an opportunity offers. Bits in 
easy chair and smokes. Introduces any comicalities that do not 
interfere with dialogue. After the first hand Hollis deals and the 
game goes on, and conversation incidental to the game. Door-bell 
heard. Bob exits l. 2 e. Re-enters, followed by Harold Had¬ 
ley. 

Bob. This way, Mr. Hadley. This way. Mr. Hadley, Mr. 
Charles. (Bob pushes easy chair to r. front. All rise as Charles 
speaks and shake hands with Hadley, then sit. While Hadley is 
on, game is suspended , and all listen, but exhibit signs of intoxica¬ 
tion, except Hollis.) 



THE SOCIAL CLASS. 


11 


Chas. Good evening, Harold. Gents, this is Mr. Hadley. 
(After introduction Hadley passes to n., places hand upon hack of 
easy chair , hut does not sit.) Take my hand and seat in the 
game, and I will be an observer. 

Hadley. No, I thank you. (Charles 6*^5.) I was not aware 
that you were engaged ,or I would not have intruded ; besides, 
I never take pleasure in cards or wine. 

Far. {Sneeringly.) Yes, I think that I have heard you spoken 
of as a great temperance advocate. 

Had. I am 'proud to say that I am an advocate for temperance. 

Sla. Perhaps, sir, that you would inform us why you are 
so interested in the cause ? 

Had. To give you my every reason this evening would con¬ 
sume too much of your time, particularly as you are preoccu¬ 
pied, and are already prejudiced against the cause. But, sirs, 
I consider the cause of temperance the cause of humanity. 
Read the daily records of crime ; see the poverty, disgrace, 
and misery which is everywhere increasing ; look at the de¬ 
graded young men and women that we daily meet upon our 
streets; the premature old men, the half-starved, hollow-cheeked 
women, the little ragged, emaciated children. And then seek 
the cause of all this, and you will find that nine tenths of all 
this is the result of liquor-drinking. This, and the desire to 
do my duty to my fellow-men, and help to elevate them, are 
some of my reasons for becoming an advocate for temperance. 
But, gentlemen, I called to see my friend Thornley and wife, 
and not wishing to interrupt your pleasures I beg leave to 
withdraw. [All rise andhoic. Hadley exits l. 2. e., followed 
hy Bob, who immediately re-enters. As soon as Hadley is off 
all laugh.) 

Far. By Jove ! If Hadley was in some better cause he 
would become popular ; he is quite eloquent. 

Oiias. Yes. He is a very fine young man. Robert, the wine. 

Sla. Yes, I think we ought to have something to wash 
down that temperance lecture. (Bob obeys.) 

Hol. {While all are pouring icine.) I think Hadley is a 
rising young man, and would like him in my office as a partner, 
if it were not for his conscientious scruples. 

Chas. Well, drink ; then fill up again, gents. I don't 
know what the deuce ails me this evening. I am deuced dry 
and see double. {Maudlin drunk.) 

Hol. {Laughing.) Thornley will have to adopt my prin¬ 
ciple and drink light. {All laugh.) 

Far. Yes, he is rather weak-headed. {All laugh.) 

Chas. Gentlemen, I ad {hie) mi re your chaff very {hie) much. 
But drink! drink! heart (/he) ty. 

Sla. Well, here’s to us. {Touch glasses and drink.) 

Chas. Come, cone, gents {hie). Let’s have a song! {hie). 
Let’s—have—a song! {One of the party sings Some rollicking 



12 


TIIE SOCIAL GLASS. 


song. All join the chorus, regardless of m usic or harmony. Bob 
repeats the last icords after the rest have ceased. Bob is sitting 
on easy chair, allowing his feet to protrude. Charles kicks them , 
and Bob goes to stage rolling toward footlights. All shout and 
continue song, filing and drinking between each verse, during which 
Bob steals a bottle from table and says the following.) 

Bob. That sherry mast be kinder fascinating. I guess I’ll 
drink a little of it. (Steals bottle and drinks.) 

Of all the drinks to make one merry, 

Give me a quart of good old sherry. 

(At dose of song Charles shouts.) 

Chas. Wine! More wine! (Bob places fresh bottle.) Fill 
up, gents (hie) and drink to the jol(Aic)ly (hie) wine. Gents, 
(hie) I’m (hie) the (hie) jolliest—fellow—out. 

Hol. (Rising.) Gentlemen, it is getting rather late. Sup¬ 
pose that we retire. (Charles staggers to feet, pushes Hollis 
to seat, then goes to Farley, who has risen and repeats business; 
thence to Slater, Charles meanwhile talking. But Hollis, 
while Charles is staggering around to the other guests, rises again, 
goes to r. 1 wing, and remains.) 

Chas. (While staggering around table.) No, no, gents, (hie) 
Sit down ! (hie) Let’s (hie) make a night (hie) of it. Let’s 
make a (hie) night of it. (Falls to his own seat. Lays head on 
table.) 

[Music very low and soft, u Annie Laurie ,’’ until Act Drop.) 

Hol, (At wing. Speaking through music.) The drug has 
the desired effect. Now, Mrs. Eva Thornley, you will begin 
to feel my hatred. 

Chas. (Rising and staggering toward table r. Places hand 
upon it.) 

Bob. Look out, Mr. Charles, or you will carom under the 
table. (Charles staggers toward the footlights and falls across 
stage c. Farley and Slater at table l., each with one foot on 
table. Glass raised in right hand. Cigar between fingers of left 
hand. Bob near table r., facing right, drinking from bottle. 
Hollis pointing exultantly. Enter Eva. .Goes to Charles.) 

Eva. (Kneels.) Oh, Charles ! Charles 1 Has it already 
come to this ? Heaven help me ! (Hands upraised.) 

Picture. Slow Drop. 



ACT II. 

Set in 4 tli Groove. Set bar as per directions. 

SCENE. —Farley’s bar-room in the Rising Sun Hotel. Bar l. in 
rear oj 2 e., naming half-way across stage. Table and chairs 
R. All the properties for a first-class bar. Farley must 
have a Bowie-knife secreted in breast, easily drawn. Introduce 
supernumeraries according to talent and size of stage. A good, 
opportunity to introduce barkeeper and waiter, beer-tables, etc., 
but do not interfere with dialogue. All optional with, the 
manager. Farley and Slater discovered on. Slater in¬ 
vites Farley' to a morning drink, etc. Slater then takes 
seat at table, taking up morning paper. Farley wiping 
bar, etc. Dialogue commences. 

Farley. Dr. Slater, I think it is about two years since you 
became my guest ? 

Slater. Yes ; I arrived in this flourishing town just two years 
ago—and, do you remember, shortly after my arrival we passed 
a social evening at Charley Thornley’s ? We all drank too much 
on that occasion except Hollis ; but I never could account for 
Thornley’s getting so confounded drunk that night. How I 
pitied his wife ! 

Far. Pitied her ! It’s her own fault. She knew what he 
was before she married him—knew that he was fast, and she 
threw away a good opportunity when she rejected Squire 
Hollis. 

Sla. I cannot see it in that light. Although Thornley is 
going down the road to ruin at a very rapid rate, yet there is 
a chance for his redemption ; and we all know him to be a man 
of honor and integrity, while Hollis is penurious, grasping, and 
treacherous. It is said that he is not rightly dealing with 
Thornley. 

Far. That is town gossip, and not to be credited. I hired 
this hotel for over a year after old Mr. Thornley’s death, when 
Hollis came into the possession of it. A short time since I 
bought it of him, and have ever found him honorable in all his 
dealings. 

St,a. Then where is the two hundred and fifty thousand dol¬ 
lars that old Mr. Thornley willed to Charles ? Hollis only ac¬ 
counts for about twenty-five thousand. But Charles keeps so 
full of your brandy that his head is always muddled, and he C 
unfit to look after his own interest. 





14 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


[Enter Nettie Nettleby, account-book and pencil in hand. 
Goes to bar. Reaches pencil toward Farley. Lays book on 
bar. Nettie Nettleby enters r. 2 e. J 

Far. (As Nettleby enters .) What the devil brings that gos¬ 
sip here ? 

N. N. Mr. Farley, I called to see if you would subscribe 
toward furnishing our new church, and increasing our Sunday- 
school library. 

Far. Why didn’t you go into the parlor (Nettie Nettleby 
crosses to r.) .and see Mrs. Farley ? This is no place for a 
woman. 

N. N. Why not? Don't you pretend to be a gentleman? 
Don’t you profess to believe that your business is honorable and 
respectable ? 

Sla. There are some pointed questions for you to answer, 
Farley. 

Far. Well, I have no money to give Sabbath-schools and. 
churches. Only a short time since your very society sent a del¬ 
egation of women here, called the “ Praying Band,” to break 
up my business. So you may as well skedaddle, dust, git, em¬ 
igrate, or anything else you like, so that you get out of my 
hotel, for you will get no money from this house. 

Sla. (Rising.) Yes, she will, Farley, for I will subscribe a 
small amount. And allow me to inform you that I think a 
man that will speak disrespectfully to a lady is beneath the 
dignity of a common cur. (To Nettle Nettleby.) Although 
I am not much of a church-going man, yet I cannot forget the 
principles taught me by my mother. You may put me down 
for twenty dollars, Miss Nettleby, and mark it paid. (Handing 
bill.) I go on the cash principle. (Nettie Nettleby marks 
in book.) 

N. N. Thanks, Dr. Slater, and— 

Sla. No, no ; no thanks. [Exit suddenly l. 2 e. 

Far. There, you ought to be satisfied now. So you had 
best go. 

N. N. No thanks to you for this money. And I will free my 
mind before I go ; and I will go when I get ready. They do 
say that you drug the wine that poor Charley Thornley drinks 
in your house. 

Far. Curse your gossiping tongue ! 

N. N. Umph ! I do like to make folks happy. And they do 
say that you and old Hollis are in league to rob the poor fel¬ 
low of all his fortune. 

Far. (Corning down in front of bar l.) What the devil do 
you mean ? Who says so ? 

N. N. Oh, now you needn't go to getting your mad up to 
me ! Folks will talk, you know ; and they do say that this 
hotel property belongs to the Thornley estate, but that old 






TIIE SOCIAL GLASS. 


15 


Hollis gave it to you for helping him in his frauds. (Farley 
walking up and down stage excitedly.) Umph ! I do like to 
make folks happy. 

Far. Now, you gossiping meddlesome fool, I have had 
enough of your scandal, and if you don’t clear out of here your 
sex shall not protect you. Arc )ou going ? 

N. N. Yes, when I get ready. (Farley advances, Nettie 
Nettle n y stepping back e.) Don’t you put your hands on me, 
you old toddy-stick ! 

[Enter Brittle l. 1 e. Seizes Farley and throws him to l. 

Assumes a pugilistic attitude.] 

Bob. Hold, vile miscreant ! Lay not thy polluted hands 
upon feminine innocence and maidenly virtue ! (Farley 
appears anxious for a conflict.) Advance but one step, and with 
a powerful blow I’ll annihilate you. (Bob squaring off. Far¬ 
ley sneaks behind bar. Bob turns to Nettie Nettleby). 

N. N. Mr. Brittle, I thank you for your timely interference. 

Bob. No, thanks, madam ; for whenever the feminine gen¬ 
der require a champion there you will always lind Robert Brit¬ 
tle ; for I am positively informed that my mother v T as a female 
woman of the feminine gender. But I advise you to avaunt ! 
begone ! and haunt no more this hall of pleasure and dissipa¬ 
tion, lest thy purity be contaminated by its foul atmosphere, 
and thy good name blasted forever. ( Going to bar.) Farley, 
talking makes me dry. Mix me a gin sour. 

N. N. (Aside. Farley mixing drinks. Nettie Nettleby 
r. Bob front of bar l.) Now, Bob Brittle w r ould be a nice 
young man if he would only leave off his “gin sours” and 
not be so stage-struck. (Turning to Farley.) Good-by, old 
toddy - stick ! (Farley raises tumbler. Bon guys him, and 
prevents him from throwing the tumbler. Farley very excited.) 
If you keep on drinking at the rate you are going, you will 
soon die of the tremens ; but that won’t be any loss to the 
public. Umph ! I do like to make folks happy. 

[Exit r. 1 e. 

Bob. (Laughing and guying Farley.) Oh, ho ! Nettleby’s 
a trump card, ain’t she, Farley? Come, come! hurry up, for 
my stomach cries out for the gin sour. 

Far. ( Mixing drink.) Bob Brittle, you had no right to in¬ 
terfere with me in this affair. But as v T e are old friends, and 
you are Hollis’ right-hand man, I will excuse it. Here’s your 
gin sour. (Passing drink. Bob drinks.) 

[Enter Thornley r. 2 e.] 

Far. (Coming down.) Ah, Charley, old boy ! How do 
you find yourself? Have a drink? (Charles is dressed very 
carelessly — has the appearance of having passed a night of 
deha uchery.) 



16 * 


TIIE SOCIAL GLASS. 


Chas. Yes. Mix me a brandy punch, and make it strong , 
for my nerves are a little unstrung to-day. (Charles at r. 
end of bar. Bob leaning against bar l. front. Farley behind 
bar between the two in the ; picture . All the bar-room scenes and 
pictures should be studied.) 

Far. What is yours, Bob ? The same as you took before ? 
It’s my treat. 

Bob. Yes, the same ; for I never mix, for fear of creating 
an internal warfare with the digestive organs, that might 
force the alcoholic effluvia to the brain, and cause this noble 
form to ignominiously roll in the gutter. 

Far. Oh, dry up and simmer down ! You will explode 
some day in one of your elocutionary attempts. The drinks, 
gents. ( Business of drinking.) 

Chas. Farley, you beat the world making brandy punches. 

Bob. And gin sours. (Bob crosses to r. Charles to l.) 
But I must be off for the office ; for if there are no new cases 
come in I must go to work on my great seventeen-act drama, 
which I am reducing to five acts. It is entitled the “ Demon 
of the Falls” (Charles and Farley guy Bob), introducing 
gorgeous scenery, delightful music, startling dramatic positions, 
thrilling pictures, and beautiful tableaux. It will astonish the 
world, and totally eclipse all modern dramatic productions. 
My lords, I go ! Au revoir. I am nothing but jdain Bob Brit¬ 
tle now, but soon I’ll wear a wreath of fame upon this noble 
brow. {Low salaam and exit r. 2 e., Farley and Charles 
laughing.) 

Chas. Come, Farley, join me in another drink. I will take 
the same. 

Far. {Mixing drinks.) Bob Brittle is a queer genius, fear¬ 
fully stage-struck, or something of that sort, but he has much 
originality ; and Hollis says that he is the best copyist he ever 
saw. The drinks ! Here’s fun ! {Touch glass and drink.) 

Ciias. Well, Bob was a faithful servant to me, and we sup¬ 
posed that he would remain with us, as father reared him ; 
but Hollis coaxed him away. He loves his liquor, and always 
keeps full, yet I n,ever knew him to be beastly intoxicated in 
my life. Is there any game going on in the club-room ? 

Far. Yes, a rousing game of faro. You had better go in 
and try your luck ; you may hold winning cards to-day. 

. Chas. I believe that I will ‘ l fight the tiger” to-day. Luck, 
like everything else, has been against me lately. 

[Exit l. 1 E. 

Far. {Leaning over bar laughing.) lie had better let the tiger 
alone. Ha, ha, ha ! But I won’t find fault as long as I get my 
share of the plunder. {Enter Harold Hadley r. 2 e., Far¬ 
ley" coming down c. and shaking hands with him.) Good morn¬ 
ing, Mr. Hadley ; I am astonished to see you in my house. 

Had. My visit to your house is easily accounted for : busi- 



THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


17 


ness calls me here. I feel it my duty, sir, to come and talk 
with you in regard to this accursed traffic of rumselling. I do 
not wish to interfere with any person who is doing an honorable 
business ; but, sir, this dealing out death and destruction by 
the glass is not an honorable occupation. It is a fearful business 
to contemplate. Look at the large number of young men of 
this town who are fast going down to drunkards’ graves ; their 
parents with fond hopes blighted, bearing their heavy burdens 
in sorrow to their tomb. Mr. Farley, do think of this matter 
seriously. There are many ways by which you could make an 
honest living, without the stigma of rumseller affixed to your 
name. 

\Eiiter Dr. Slater r. 2 e. Goes to table it., sits , and, apparently 
unheeding the conversation, reads newspaper. \ 

Far. Hadley, I have had all the temperance lecture I want 
from you to-day. I keep a respectable hotel. I pay the 
United States, the State, the county, and the corporation for 
licenses to seli liquors. My boarders are mostly men of means, 
as well as my customers, and 1 do not sell liquor to loafers. 

Had. Perhaps not ; but no one becomes a drunkard in a day. 
It is not in the low grog-shops that our young men first begin 
to sip their wine, but in the so-called respectable hotels ; then 
step by step they sink to the level of the loafer. Yes, the 
gilded saloons and the first-class hotels are the drunkard man¬ 
ufactories. 

Far. You are putting the case pretty strong, Hadley ; I 
don’t want any insults in my own house. 

Had. I do not wish to insult you, but I must speak the truth, 
and I believe that I am talking for your welfare. Mr. Farley, 
we cannot see ourselves as others see us ; but as sure as you do 
not leave off drinking you will go the road that poor Charley 
Thornley is travelling ; and Farley, for his sake and his wife’s 
sake, do not sell him any more liquor. 

Far. I would be a fool to drive away one of my best custom¬ 
ers, wouldn’t I? I will tell you what it is, Hadley, I have 
heard just enough of your temperance blarney. Now there 
(pointing r. 2 e.) is the door, and you put yourself on the other 
side of it, or I will throw you through it. (Farley advances. 
Hadley backs n. Slater drops paper and leaps between them, 
seising Farley and throwing him l. Slater c.) 

Sla. Not while I am here. Farley, I have watched your 
course for some time past , I have also viewed with painful 
feelings Thornley’s downward career, and I have resolved to 
try and save him. I have boarded in vour house for two years, 
and of late have seen you display too much penury, meanness, 
and cowardice. In fa^ct, you are no gentleman, but in many re¬ 
spects you are a disgustingly low and vulgar brute. Perhaps 



18 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


you will throw me through the door ? (Farley goes sheepishly 
behind bar.) 

Fail This quarrel was between Hadley and me. I have 
nothing to say to you in the matter. 

Had. I did not come here to breed contentions, and will 
soon go. Dr. Slater, you say that you have resolved to try and 
save Thornley. If you mean it, combine forces with me, and 
we will accomplish our object. 

Sla. I do mean it, Heaven knows. Farley, make out my 
bill ; I will call and pay it this evening. {To Hadley.) I have 
for some time past felt the appetite for strong drink increasing 
upon me, but with Heaven’s help I will become a temperance 
man. 

Had. Thank Heaven. 

Sla. Come, Hadley, I will seek another hotel, and one that 
is free from the odors of alcohol. 

[Exit Hadley and Slater r. 2 e. 

Far. {Leaning on bar.) The devil take that meddlesome 
puppy Hadley ! Slater was my best boarder, and gave tone to 
the house. He is a man of means and is fast becoming rich 
through his profession and speculation. And this temperance 
braider must come in here and interfere. But I will be even 
with him yet. 

[Enter Thornley l. 1 e., very drunk, dress disarranged, etc. ] 

Ciias. Plague (hie) take the (hie) luck—another (hie) thou¬ 
sand gone. Farley, gim’me some {hie) brandy. ( Going to 
bar. Farley sets up liquor. 

Fail Drink hearty, old boy ! Never mind the luck. You 
will win next time. 

Chas. {While pouring liquor.) Far—far—ley, is (hie) this your 
best brandy (fti»), eh ? (Drinks.) 

Far. Yes, yes. Drink hearty, etc. (Charles tries to get 
fingers in pockets for money. Fails.) Oh, never mind the 
change. I will chalk it down. 

Ciias. (Staggering toward table r.) That’s (hie) all right. 
Chalk her down (hie), chalk her (hie) down. (Sits at t<d>le , 
lays head, on same. Hat falls off. One arm hanging helpless. 
Hight hand under face, which is near edge of table and toward 
audience. Watch-chain dangling, rest unbuttoned, etc. Muttering.) 
Chalk her down. 

Far. (Marking in account-book.) I will just make this four 
drinks ; I must have interest where I trust; and it will make 
up for treats. 

[Enter Hollis r. 2 e. Stops and looks at Charles. Then goes 

to bar.) 

IIol. He is pretty drunk, eh ? (Pointing at Thornley. 
Farley chuckles and pantomimes exultingly.) I believe I will 




THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


19 


ask him up to drink ; the quicker he is out of the way the bet¬ 
ter. ( Goes to Charles. Slaps him on shoulder .) Come up, 
Thorn ley, and take a drink. (. Returns to bar, allowing Charles 
to come by himself.) I will take some of your best brandy. 

Chas. ( Staggering to bar.) Yes (hie), oh yes, I’ll (hie) take 
brandy. (Mutters as he pours.) 

(Just as he raises his glass Eva enters suddenly r. 2 e. Goes'to 

bar. Seizes glass. Sits it on bar.] 

Eva. Come, Charles, do come home with me. Come : I have 
the carriage at the door. 

Chas. (Turning r., Eva leading him. As he gets to table r. 
he falls into chair , head on table , again muttering.) I’ll come 
(hie). Oh, yes (hie), I’ll come. 

Eva. Oh, do come, Charles ! It is so lonely without you ; 
and you are not well, you know. (Hollis goes to r. 1 w. 
Folds arms and exhibits a fiendish exultation. Farley comes in 
front of bar and to l. Must have Bowie-knife in breast handy to 
be drawn .) 

Far. Leave him here, Mrs. Thornley ; I will take good care 
of him. 

Eva. Tou take good care of him? Upon my word, you are 
very kind in your offers ! What a kind, good heart you must 
have, John Farley, to get him helplessly intoxicated and then 
offer to take good care of him ! 

Far. Upon my honor, he did not get drunk in my house. 
And, to tell you the truth, it goes against my conscience to sell 
him liquor. (Charles weeping and struggling to sober up.) 

Eva. John Farley, dare you talk of honor and conscience ? The 
conscience of a rumseller ! the honor of a keeper of a gambling den ! 
Shame upon you, John Farley ! Look upon your work. 
(Pointing to Charles. ) See manhood shorn of its manliness by 
the vile stuff you retail from the bottle ! (Pointing to the bottles 
behind bar.) Oh, Farley, as sure as there is a Supreme Ruler, 
just so sure there will come a day of retribution, when you will 
fall into the very pit that you have dug for others ! 

FxAr. I do not wish for any more insults. I have received 
too much insolence to-day. 

Chas. (Rising and staggering to r. c.) Oh, what a wretch, 
what an outcast I have become ! (Care should be taken not to 
appear too eober .) 

Far. Take my advice and go home. jSTo respectable lady 
would think of entering a bar-room to seek her drunken hus¬ 
band. 

Chas. It wanted but that insult to sober me. Apologize to 
my wife, or your worthless life shall pay the forfeit ! 


Music Tremolo until Drop. 



20 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


[Charles staggers toward Farley. They clinch. A struggle. 
Eva throws up tooth hands ; seems about to faint. Charles is 
thrown to l. upon one knee. Farley holding him icith left 
hand , quickly raises Bowie in right. Eva catches his up¬ 
lifted arm. Hollis pointing exult in gly.] 

Eva. Murder ! Help ! help ! 

Picture. Quick Drop. 



ACT III. 


SCENE. — Hollis’ law office. Book-case at back. Writing-table 
or desk r. across l. 2 e. Two chairs. Pen, paper, ink- 
stand on table. Office broom at l. 2 e. Brittle discovered 
at table, keg in hand, ichen act commences. 

Bob. (Bob’s nose is very red.) Well, I think that this key 
will lit now. So I will secrete it. If this key will but give me 
the “ open sesame” to the inner vault, then, Squire Hollis, 
you will hear something drop. ( Looking l.) Ah, here comes 
the Squire. (Puts key in pocket. Rises.) 

[Enter l. 2 e. James Hollis.] 

Hol. I am glad to find you here so early this morning, Rob¬ 
ert, for I shall be very busy to-day. I shall foreclose the mort¬ 
gage on the Thornley mansion, and then there are two writs to 
serve. You may now take your hour for breakfast, and leave 
this message at the Thornley mansion on your way. (. Handing 
letter. Bob takes hat and crosses to l. 1 e. Hollis at table.) 

Bob. So poor Charley Thornley has lost all at last. Well ! 
Rum did it. Now why can’t people learn to drink liquor as I 
do. I have got my guage, and only get my tank about so full. 
{Placing finger across throat.) Well, if Thornley icill be a fool, I 
can’t help it. Now I’ll take this letter to the Thornley man¬ 
sion, and 

# 

Then I to the restaurant fly, 

And with brandy cocktails wash down my oyster pie. 

[Exit l. 1 E. 

Hol. (Solus.) Now, to look over the papers and destroy all 
that could be used as evidence against me. ( Exit r. 2 e. Re¬ 
enters with package of papers representing bonds, mortgages, etc., c. 
Sits at tahle examining the papers.) Now I will destroy the will, 
and all the papers, and when everything is settled I will retire 
from business and lead a life of pleasure, /shall live in luxury 
and splendor, while she will drag out a miserable existence 
with a drunken brute for a husband. (Re-enter Bob l.'I e. 
Hollis rises.') How the devil is this ? Why do you return to 
disturb me ? 

Bob. Why, I thought as there was so much to do I wouldn’t 
stop for breakfast, but I’d—I’d— 

Hol. Well, clear out ! and don’t return for an hour. (Hollis 
resumes seat again.) 



22 


TIIE SOCIAL GLASS. 


Bod. {Quietly.) 

My noble duke, your imperative order I will heed, 

And stride away with {loudly) lightning speed. 

[Strides off l. 1 e. 

IIol. I hope that he will stride to the devil. {Facing right , at 
table. ■ Examines papers. Enter Nettie Nettleby l. 2 e., silently 
tip-toes to backoff his chair , and peers over his shoulder.) I ought 
to destroy these, but I will not at present. Here are the 
original bonds, mortgages, and the original deed of the Rising 
Sun Hotel. {Looks around. Discovers Nettie Nettleby. 
She suddenly retreats l. Hollis rises quickly.) Well, you are 
impudence personified ! What brings you to my office this 
early in the morning ? 

N. N. Business—special business. 

Hol. Special business to pry into my secrets; but I rather 
think you found but little to make capital for scandal of by 
looking over my shoulders. Be seated ! I will remove my 
papers, and then listen to your “ special business.'’' {Points to 
seat. Takes papers and exits it. 2 e. ) 

N. N. Seated l. c.) I wonder if I haven’t found anything to 
make capital of ! I will set him crazy yet. Umpli ! I do like 
to make folks happy. 

[. Re-enters Hollis it. 2 e. Sits at table.] 

Hol. Now I am ready to listen to your u special business." 

N. N. I called to see if you would lend your influence to the 
temperance cause (Hollts displays disgust ), and help to reform 
some of our young men who are fast going down to drunkards’ 
graves. Charles Thornley is one. You very w r ell know that 
he is a very capable young man, but that rum has got the up-, 
per hand of him. Why, even after old Farley committed that 
murderous assault upon him he went there for his liquor, and 
is a constant visitor there now. 

Hol. I have no time to waste on drunkards. If people will 
be ffools, and drink too much whiskey, the quicker they kill 
themselves the better. And as for Thornley, he is a vagrant; 
his case is hopeless, and I will have nothing to do with him. 
{Turns to write.) 

N. N. Only think of his wife and little child. (Hollis 
ffacing Nettie Nettleby again.) 

IIol. I remember his wife only as a heartless coquette, who 
married him, thinking that he was possessed of a large fortune. 
And she knew him to be a libertine and a drunkard. ( Turns 
to write again.) 

N. N. {Rising.) I know that to be false ; and I know that 
you hate Eva Thornley because she rejected you! (Hollis 
turning and twisting.) Oh, you needn’t squirm and twist so. 
And they do say that you aed Farley have drugged Charles 



THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


23 

Thornley’s wine time and again. Umpli ! I do like to make 
folks happy. 

Hol. {Rising r. Striding vp and down stage.) Oh, stop 
this scandalous talk and leave my office ! 

N. N. Oh, you needn’t go to getting your mad up to me ; 
folks will talk, you know ; and they do say that Bob Brittle is 
only a tool in your hands to work out frauds. 

Hol. The deuce take your gossiping ( mocking ), with “ They 
do say,” and “ They do say.” ( Very excited.) 

N. N. ( Very load.) Umpli ! I do like to make folks happy. 

IIol. ( Standing quietly r. jdeadingly.) Miss Nettleby, my 
time is valuable, and I have none to waste listening to your 
gossip ; and the quicker you leave*my office the better I shall 
like it. 

N. N. Oh, yes, I’ll go. But they do say (Hollis beginning 
to stride , and placing fingers in ears) that you and old Farley have 
a regular systematic plan of robbing Thornley. 

Hol. (Stoppiing il front of table ) Will you get out of my 
office ? 

N. N. Yes ; but I haven’t told you half yet. (Hollis takes 
hat from table. Crosses l. Brittle enters suddenly, runs 
against him. Both fall to stage. Nettie Nettleby laughing 
and pointing.) The downfall of aristocracy ! 

Hol. ( Rising and kicking Bob.) The devil take you, you 
stupid fool! [Exit l. 1 e. 

Bob. ( Still on stage.) I think I must have “bust” off a 
suspender button. I heard something snap. (Rising.) The 
Squire is in an awful rage. He hit me a tremendous kick with 
his tanyards. You must have been nettling him, Miss Nettleby. 

N. N. I only told him some of the news, and— 

Bob. And, as usual, tried to make him happy. 

N. N. Now, Mr. Brittle, don't be rude. 

Bob. (Aside.) Mr. Brittle ! oh! ah! She’s putting on frills. 
I wonder what’s up. 

N. N. Yotir employer is a very curious man. I can’t exactly 
make out what he is. What is he ? 

Bob. Hush ! hist ! (Very mysteriously goes to all the icings , 
comes down r. c.) “ Lend me your ears !” Miss Nettleby, to 
use the best of my judgment—and I have studied deeply, and 
consider myself a good judge of human nature— (Pause.) 

N. N. Yes, yes ; you are. 

Bob. To use the best of my judgment— (Pause.) 

N. N. Well, Mr. Brittle. 

Bob. Hush ! ( Goes to all the entrances again , coining down r. 

c. and remaining dumb.) 

N. N. Well, Mr. Brittle, what is he ? (Loudly and very im¬ 
patiently.) 

Bob. He’s a man of— 

N. N. Of what ? (Loudly.) 


24 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


Bob. Of the male gender ! (Balding in her ear , then striding 
to extreme 11. Nettie Nettleby to extreme l.) 

N. N. Bob Brittle, I’ll never speak to you again. 

Bob. Then I won’t have to be carried off on a stretcher, 

N. N. Oh, confound your impudence ! I want to ask you a 
few questions. (Bob hands 'pencil and paper from table. Very 
politely bowing, and with much pomposity .) What are these for ? 

Bob. For you to write on, as you are not going to speak. 
(Nettie Nettleby throws them in his face. Bob mocking.) 
Umph ! I do like to make folks happy. 

N. N. Bob Brittle, you are a brute to treat a lady so. (Net¬ 
tie Nettleby crying. Bob looks at her , then commences a facial 
struggle to suppress tears. Work up a good burlesque crying scene.) 

Bob. M-M-Miss Net-Net-Nettleby, do*do-don’t cry. I didn’t 
mean to be rude. Oh dear ! I never could bear to see a pretty 
girl cry. Oh ! ho boo-hoo o-o-o— (Nettie Nettleby goes to 
him , and with handkerchief wipes his tears.) 

N. N. There, Robert, don’t cry. It is all over now, and we 
are friends again. 

Bob. Yes, Nettie. 

N. N. Now I want to tell you about some strange papers that 
I saw Squire Hollis looking over this morning. 

Bob. Husli ! If you have seen any strange papers in his pos¬ 
session, don’t talk about it here. I will see you again and talk 
it over. Until then, “ guard well your secret,” “ for e’en the 
very walls may prate.” 

N. N. Oh, pshaw ! Don’t put on your stage style, but listen 
to me. 

Bob. No, no ! Listen to me ! listen to me ! I know all about 
those papers, and soon facts may be known. And thereby 
hangs a tale , which for the present must not be retailed. So 
mum’s the word. (Bob to it. Nettie Nettleby to l.) 

N. N. (Aside.) There’s no getting anything out of him. 
He’s too deep in the plot with old Hollis. Bob, I wish that 
you would go down to Farley’s and coax Tliornley home. He 
is on a terrible spree. 

Bob. I will, Nettie ; for I love Charley Tliornley better than 
any one else in the world except— 

N. N. Except who ? 

Bob. Ex—cept (Yankee courtship business) you. Oh, my dar¬ 
ling Nettleby. Cupid’s dart pierced this heait—this heart that 
ne’er before was conquered. Yes, the fatal dart hit its mark, 
just as the well-springs of your eyes overflowed (kneeling), and 
now I am thy slave forever ! (Rising.) Oh my lady fair, bid 
me not despair, or I’ll go raving mad and tear my hair ! (Bur¬ 
lesque attitude.) 

N. N. Why, Bob Brittle, do you really love me ? 

Bob. Yes, you are the sunflower of my affections. 

N. N. Are you sure that you don’t love any one else ? 





THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


25 


Bob. Yes, I am sure, for you are the dandelion of my hopes. 
1ST. N. (Presenting 11 . hand.) Then kiss my hand. (Bob 
obeys.) Now kiss the other. (Presenting l. hand. As Bob lasses 
it Nettie Nettleby slaps his face with the right. Bob goes to n. 

wing rubbing cheek. Comic facial business. Nettie Nettleby 
to l. 1 icing, laughing and ridiculing him.) Why, Bob Brittle, 
do you think that I would marry you, with such a toddy-blos¬ 
som for a nose ? and breath that smells of gin sour? Ha, ha, 
ha ! good^by, Bobby ! Don’t tear your hair. Ha, ha, ha ! 
Umph ! I do like to make folks happy. [Exit l. 1 e. 

Bob. (Striding it. and l.) Toddy -blossom for a nose ! Breath 
that smells of gin sour ! Oh, I used to hate that girl, but some¬ 
how the fatal dart has pierced my heart. 

[Enter Hollis l. 2 e. Bob cools doom suddenly , and assumes the 

air of a servant.] 

Hol. (Crossing to table.) So that gossip lias gone at last? 

Brittle, the next time she comes in here, kick her into the 

street. But leave me now, for I wish to be alone. (Sits at table. 
Bob goes to l. 1 e.) 

Bob. (Aside.) Oh, no ! I won’t try on that kicking business. 
I have just had a touch of her pugilistic propensities, and I 
have too much respect for my own cranium. Besides I am in 
love with that girl. But it is a hopeless passion. 

For she has cast a darksome shadow o’er my soul: 

4/ 7 

But I’ll go down to Farley’s and drown my sorrow in the flowing 
bowl. [Exit l. 1 e. 

Hol. (Solus.) Soon, Mrs. Eva Thornlcy, you will become a 
beggar. My revenge will then be complete. 

[Enter Eva l. 2 e. Crosses to il, speaking as she crosses. 
Hollis rises, places chair to it. c., and takes it. of stage. 
Eva has note in hand.] 

Eva. Why have you sent this imperative- message to me ? 
What business of vital importance can you have with me ? 
What demon can possess you, James Hollis, to thus persecute 
an unfortunate woman ? 

Hol. The demon of blighted hopes, ruined prospects, spurned 
offers, and rejected love. Wealth, honor, and position, rejected 
and spurned by you, for drunkenness, poverty, and disgrace. 

Eva. This message informs me that you wish to see me on 
business concerning the Thornley mansion ; but it seems that 
you merely wish to taunt me of my wretchedness. Have you 
not already done me injuries, and given me insults enough to 
satisfy your revengeful feelings ? 

Hol. I first sought your husband at Farley’s, his favorite 
resort, and found him too drunk to understand business. 
Therefore I sent for you , to inform you that I have this day 
foreclosed my mortgage on the Thornley mansion. 


2G 


TIIE SOCIAL GLASS. 


Eva. A mortgage on the Thornley mansion, and I not in¬ 
formed of it ? When was this mortgage given ? 

Hol. Just previous to your marriage, when Charles was on 
one of his social sprees. Therefore your name was not required. 

Eva. ( Exhibiting great emotion.) Oh, I well remember that 
just previous to our marriage Charles was taken to his 
home insensible. He had been at Farley’s. His physician 
decided that he had been drugged. Oh, I have had hopes 
that the murderous assault which Farley committed on Charles, 
some months since, would prove a warning, and that he would 
never visit that death-dealing place again. 

Hol. You wrong Farley, and have a very poor conception of 
the character of your husband. Farley keeps a respectable 
hotel, while your husband has fallen so low that were Farley to 
kick him into the street to-day he would go there for his liquor 
to-morrow. 

Eva. Charles Thornley has fallen very low in your estimation 
and the world’s, but still lower in his own opinion, and the fact 
of his being keenly sensible of his own degradation will yet be 
his salvation. (Hollis sneers.) I know not in wdiat manner 
his reformation may be wrought ; yet I have faith in wifely 
affection, earnest prayer to the throne of grace, and in the 
efficacy of his Christian mother’s teachings while he wms a youth. 

Hol. ( Very sneeringly.) Your prayers and his early teachings 
are powei’less ; his reformation is impossible. 

Eva. ( Indignantly.) James Hollis, if you have any further 
business with me, finish it ! and I will go. But be assured that 
I see through your villainy. This mortgage is either a fraud 
or a forgery, and I w T ill contest its legality. 

Hol. {Stepping toward her. She shrinks hack b.) Eva Thorn¬ 
ley, dare you accuse me of forgery or complicity in fraud ? 
{Slowly.) The mortgage is signed by Charles Thornley and wit¬ 
nessed by Robert Brittle. 

Eva. {Sinking to chair.) Heaven help me ! ( Weeping.) 

Hol. {Pleadingly and advancing toward her.) Eva Thornley, 
you are throwing your life away on a man that is entirely un¬ 
worthy of you. People are astonished ! Eva, you could easily 
be freed from this degraded life. Habitual intoxication and 
neglect are good grounds for divorce. Give me the order to 
file a petition for your divorce, and you shall be free in less 
than sixty days ; and were you free from Thornley I should 
again place my hand and fortune at your disposal. Come, say 
the word, and I will immediately file a petition in the court. 

Eva. {Slowly rising , pointing and looking upward.) Whom 
God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. {Weeping. 
Hollis strides l. savagely.) Charles Thornley, drunkard, 
though he may be, is still my husband. ( Very slowly and ex¬ 
hibiting much emotion. Pause. Then suddenly changes to anger 
and contempt.) James Hollis, I loathe and. despise you! My bus- 



THE SOCIAL GLASS, 


27 


band, with all his other faults, is a man of honor and integrity ; 
while you are a base libertine and villain! My heart is, and 
ever will be, true to my husband. In his darkest hours, through 
all peril and disgrace, to me he may ever look for comfort, love, 
and sympathy. And you, base, cowardly scoundrel, can never 
destroy his wife’s fidelity. But I will leave you : your words 
are evil, and your presence pollution. {Attempts to cross to L. 
Hollis steps in front of her. She shrinks back n., near icing.) 

Hol. Eva Thornley, these are not the first insults you have 
given me, but they shall be the last, fori will leave you to your 
fate. When you rejected me and accepted Thornley, I took 
an oath to be revenged. Plow well I have kept that oath 
{looking around), as there are no witnesses you shall hear. I 
drugged Charles’ wine at our social parties ; I employed others 
to do the same at the hotels ; I put expert gamblers on his 
track {during this Eva exhibits fear). 

Eva. {Sinking to chair iceeping.) Oh, Heaven ! 

Hol. You call on Heaven, and well you need, for Charles 
Thornley will fill a drunkard's grave, and you shall become a 
pauper. 

Eva. {Rising. Speaking slowly with deep pathos.) James 
Hollis, I despise, yet I pity you, for you will have much to an¬ 
swer for in the high court of Heaven. And let me beg of you 
to stay this vindictiveness. Charles Thornley was my betrothed 
long previous to your proposal, as I then informed you. Do 
try to right the wrongs which you have done ere it be too 
late. Strive with me to restore my husband to manhood and 
sobriety, and you may take all of our worldly possessions. 
{Kneeling.) And I will do the work of the lowest menial, or 
beg for bread from door to door, for the sake of seeing my hus¬ 
band redeemed. Ay, I will sacrifice all !—all but honor. 
{Covers face with hands, iceeping. Hollis standing over her 
exultingly.) 

Hol. Eva Thornley, I have longed for this hour. I once 
knelt to you and pleaded for your love. Nowyoware the suppli¬ 
cant ! Give me the order to file a petition for your divorce 
(Eva rises indignantly, goes extreme n.), and pledge me your 
hand, and I will do all in my power to make you happy. 
fuse, and you shall drain the cup which I have prepared, to its 
bitter dregs. {Goes extreme l. Folds arms.) 

Eva. Never ! never ! villain ! There is a great, a good, a 
loving, all-wise Being, who, sooner or later, will right all 
wrong3, reward the innocent, and punish the guilty. In Him I 
trust. (Starts quickly toward l. Hollis puts forth both hands 
suddenly, and speaks rapidly. Eva shrinks to l. again.) 

Hol. Hold ! Eva Thornley, I will have one kiss from those 
sweet lips. {Immediately starts toward her.) 

Music Tremolo until Act Drop. 


28 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


Eva. Help ! murder ! murder ! help ! 

[J.s soon as the word Ups is spoken, Nettie Nettleby must enter 
l. 2e. Seizes broom, which is leaning against l. 2 w. Strikes 
Hollis on head. He turns to see who it is, and then tries to 
■reach his hat , which he has placed upon table, at entering. 
Nettie Nettleby drives him around stage and off l. 2 e. 
When Eva screams, she seizes law-book from table and stands 
in attitude of defence. Laughs while Nettie Nettleby is 
driving Hollts around stage. After Hollis is off, Nettie 
Nettleby takes centre of stage, broom upraised.'] 

N. N. {exclaims) Umph ! I do like to make folks happy. 

Quick Duor. 


ACT IV. 


SCENE I. —Farley’s bar- room, as in Act II. Any variety may 
be introduced as the Act opens, but all must exit previous to 
the opening soliloquy. Farley with red face, one black eye, 
and apparently in last stages of the liquor mania, and verging 
on delirium tremens. 

Far. {Solus, and leaning over bar.) I wonder what the mat¬ 
ter is with all of my customers ? Thornley hasn’t been here 
for a week, and Bob Brittle don’t come as often as he used to. 
And it’s the way with all of them. Two or three years ago the 
women crusaders nearly broke up my business ; and now here’s 
the cursed Red Ribbon, and the Blue Ribbon, and the Good 
Templar, and a whole pack of other fanatical societies, raising the 
dickens with the whiskey traffic. But I will just take another 
drink, and drown trouble in the liquid that kills grief. {Pours 
liquor.) 

[Mrs. Farley enters l. 2 e., just as Farley is drinking. 

Crosses to r.] 

Mrs. F. Come, come, John Farley, you had better be attend¬ 
ing to your business than to be drinking whiskey. You patron¬ 
ize the bar better than any of your customers. Everything is 
going to ruin, and you are getting into debt ; you have become 
a confirmed sot, and even now are on the brink of the tremens. 
Oh, John, it is frightful to think how you have changed since 
I first became acquainted with you ! {Sits at table r., weeping.) 

Far. Have I changed ? Yes, I know it ; for when I first 
knew you, you was a sprightly girl of eighteen, and I was a 
young man of twenty. Your father leased and run this hotel, 
and I was in his employ. I had come fresh and innocent from 
the country {half crying) ; I had been taught by my dear old 
mother that liquor-drinking was wrong. I loved you, and you 
it was that handed me the first glass of wine I ever tasted, and 
with a winning smile you said, “ Drink it, John ; it will not 
harm you.” I drank it ! I loved it! and if it harm me then, it 
won’t now. So go along into your own part of the house, and 
attend to your own affairs. {Turns l. and mixes drink. Mrs. 
Farley sits r., partially facing r.) 

Mrs. F. Oh, what wretchedness, what misery, what woe, one 
thoughtless act of my life has brought upon me. Little did I 
think, when I passed that tiny glass of wine to him whom I 
loved, that I was creating a demon that would forever haunt 



30 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


me ; that I was fondling a viper whose sting would prove fatal 
to my happiness. (Rises and goes to r. end of'bar.') Oh, John ! 
John ! let us give up this way of making a living ; let us, ere 
it be too late, give up this fearful traffic. I acknowledge that I 
was the temptress that lured you from the path of honor and 
sobriety. Yet it was a thoughtless act, committed by a heedless 
girl, and bitterly have I repented. (John lifting glass to drink, 
Mrs. Farley seizes it.) John, do not drink any more ! Please 
don’t. (Farley raises bottle.) 

Far. Go along into your part of the house ! You make me 
wild ! Go ! or 1 will hit you with this bottle. 

Mrs. F. (Going l. Oh, what a miserable life I am living! 

[ Exit l. 2 e. 

Far. Blast that woman ! I will be the death of her yet. 

(Enter Brittle, very seedy.) 

Bob. Hello, my lord. “ How goes the battle ?” 

Far. Ah, Bob ! glad to see you. Have a drink ! Have a 
dozen! Get blind, staving drunk, and be happy. 

Bob. Yes, my noble duke, I’ll take a smile, 

These weary moments to beguile ; 

(Farley setting up liquor.) 

For a cloud of darkness is on me now, 

And sadness sets upon my brow. 

(Bob pours and drinks. Farley picking at his own clothing , and 
at imaginary insects.) But what the deuce ails Farley ? He 
must have the jim-jams coming on. (Aside.) 

Far. How do things go, Bob ? right or wrong ? 

Bob. Oh, everything'goes wrong. Hollis is cross, and has 
been ever since Nettleby hit him that crack on the head with a 
broom. 

Far. Nettleby’s a regular tiger-cat. (Delirious.') What’s— 
what’s that on your coat-collar, Bob? (Pointing at Bob's 
collar. Bob looking at collar.) There he goes! (Comes from 
behind bar.) There ! there ! he is crawling right up—up into 
your ear. Ha, ha, ha ! (Bob quickly places hand to ear , frighten¬ 
ed ,, but soon recovers.) 

Bob. Oh, pshaw ! Farley, you have been drinking too hard. 
That’s imaginary ; there is nothing there. 

Far. I tell you there is ! It is an enormous spider—no, no ; 
he is some fly insect. (Pointing and, turning in the direction im¬ 
agined. Bob turning , etc.) There he goes ! there he goes ! 
There, he’s gone. Ha, ha, ha! (Goes behind bar.) 

Bob. (l. front of bar.) Come, come, Farley, you have been 
drinking too steep. You've got the jim-jams, and if you don’*- 
let up you’ll get snakes in your boots. 

Far. Oh, there is no danger of that ; but, to tell the truth, 
I do feel queer to-day. Is Hollis pretty busy now ? 



THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


Q1 

tj L 


Bob. Y es, lie is, for Hadley is retained as counsel by Thorn- 
ley, and Hollis will have to work sharp or he will lose the case. 

Fab. Oh, well, you are safe enough, Bob ; youb part of the 
work was well done. 

Bob. ( Alarmed, and looking at all the entrances.') Hush ! 
Don’t talk so loud ; there may be listeners. “ The very walls 
have ears betimes.” 

Far. Why don’t Thornley come here now ? He hasn’t been 
here for a week. (Picking at clothes.) 

Bob. Why, lie’s been sick ; he has had the jim-jams and 
snakes in his boots, and spiders and tarantulas crawling all 
over him—fleas in his eyes, hugs in his ears. Oh, lie’s had ’em 
had, 1 tell you. But they are trying to cure him of the appetite 
for liquor now. 

Far. Cure the devil ! I suppose that Hadley and Slater have 
a hand in that affair ? 

Bob. Yes, but there is mourning in the Thornley mansion 
now. Their darling little child is dead, and is to be buried at 
three o’clock this afternoon. It’s about that time now. 

Far. (Very nervous.) What—what the deuce ails me ? I see 
two Bob Brittles, when I know that there is but one. But 
come, come ! drink ! drink ! I must drive these thoughts and 
sights away ! ( Seizes hottleto drink.) 

Bob. (Bob takes it from him , and leads him to table r. Bob 
speaking as he does this, and Farley half resisting. Bob sits on 
corner of table, and Farley in chair playing cards.) No, 
no, Farley, don’t drink any more. Why don’t you drink mod¬ 
erately, same’s I do ? Why don’t you gauge your tank ? 
We’ll have a game of euchre. It will divert your mind. 
(Seated.) 

Chas. (Enter r. 2 e. Gomes down c. ) Here I am again at 
Farley’s. Oh, would to Heaven that I could stop this craving- 
appetite for liquor. It is one week since I tasted the accursed 
poison, yet I crave for it. Something seems to be gnawing at 
my very vitals. (Pause.) My darling little child is dead, and 
to-day they lay him in his last resting-place ; and it were far bet¬ 
ter for me were I to be laid in that silent home than to remain 
the reeling, staggering, bloated libel on humanity that I am. 
Oh, but this accursed craving ! (Pause.) Come, Farley, give 
me some brandy. Quick! for I am dying of thirst. (Going 
suddenly to bar. Farley and Bob spring to feet in surprise. 
Farley goes behind bar. Bob to r. end of bar. Charles r. 
front of bar .) 

Far. What is the matter ? Cheer up! Drink hearty. What 
is yours, Bob ? It’s my treat. 

Bob. Brandy, plain. (They fill, and are about to touch glasses 
when bell, in rear of scene, tolls three slowly, to represent church 
clock. Charles sets glass on bar untasted ; the others do the same. 
Charles goes down stage slowly. Bob raises finger warningly to 






32 


TIIE SOCIAL GLASS. 


Farley, who leans oxer bar heedlessly. Bob at end of bar in at¬ 
titude of mourning.) 

Ciias. This is the hour for the burial of my little darling ; and 
my noble wife thinks me sick in my room. Oh, what a wretch 
I am to abuse the confidence of that loving, forgiving, self-sac¬ 
rificing wife, who has stood so nobly by me through every trial 
and disgrace. I must, I will conquer this accursed appetite. 
Heaven help me to do so. (Pause.) But I am so thirsty. 
(Charles should display the struggle beticeen the force of appetite 
and his good resolution. Slowly goes to bar, raises his glass , holding 
it from him. Bob and Farley drink theirs hastily. Charles 
conquers , and dashes liis glass to stage.) 

Far. Fool ! what is the matter with you ? 

Chas. John Farley, I have drank (enter Slater and Hadley 
while he is saying this) my last glass of liquor ! And, Heaven 
helping me, I will henceforth lead a sober life. (Sinks to chair 
l. weeping.) 

Sla. A good resolution, Charles. ( Remaining r.) 

Had. (Crossing to Charles.) Yes, and one step toward the 
higher life. We missed you from your room, and feared the 
worst ; and— 

Far. (Seizing bottle and attempting to adxance toward Hadley. 
Bob seizes and: restrains him.) Now, clear out, the whole pack 
of you ! I don’t want any of your temperance (hie) blarney. 

Bob. (Pushing him behind bar.) Now you dry up, and keep 
order, for I’m going to be chairman of this meeting. 

Far. (Leaning over bar.) All (hie) right, Bob. 

Had. Thanks, Robert. Charles, a good resolution should be 
put in force at once ; delays are dangerous. Sign this pledge 
(holding pledge card), and declare your emancipation from the 
curse of alcoholic slavery. 

Sla. Y"es, don this badge of sobriety (holding either red or 
blue ribbon , whichever you are playing under). And let it be a 
reminder of your obligation. Join with us in the reformation 
and in the good work. Forget the gloomy past. 

Far. (Seizing bottle and. advancing.) Oh, dry up and— 

Bob. (Pushing him behind bar.) Order ! Order in the meet¬ 
ing, or I’ll bring my gavel down on your pate! (Raising fist. 
Farley again leans oxer bar.) 

Far. All—(Afc) —Bob. 

Had. Charles, for the sake of the love you bore for your dear 
Christian mother ere she was numbered with the dead ; for the 
sake of all you hold near and dear, I beg of you, sign this 
pledge. 

Sla. Yes, and then go to your home wearing this emblem of 
total abstinence, and you will see the sad face of your beloved 
wife light up with the smile of hope, and the sunbeams of joy 
will gleam in her eyes at your approach. 

Had. And ere long the bright roses of health and happiness 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


33 


will bloom on her now jmle, grief-stricken cheeks. (Charles 
takes pledge-card, rises.) 

A Chorus of Voices Sing in rear of Scene, “Almost 

Persuaded.” 

[Charles goes slowly (to time of song) to table. Signs with trem¬ 
bling hand. Hadley follows to l. of table. Slater at r. 
leans over and pins on ribbon. Both shake hands with him. 
lie passes ton. 1 wing. While Charles is going to table Bob 
leaves the end of bar where he has been standing, watches 
Charles until he takes the pencil to sign, then exhibits deep 
emotion, and to time of song goes to l. 1 wing, leans head on 
arm against icing as though weeping. Hadley goes slowly to 
Bob, and as the strain ends places hand upon Bob’s shoulder 
and speaks. Farley over bar, seemingly heedless.) 

Had. Robert, will you sign, and become another standard- 
bearer in this grand army to fight against King Alcohol ? 

Bob. ( Turning to Hadley.) Well, that would be rather hard 
on old Farley. Why, if I leave off drinking it will surely 
“ bust up” this old shebang. Farley lias made more than half 
of his living off of Charley Thornley and me, ever since this 
ribbon movement struck the town. And I have got so that I 
want to guzzle the infernal stuff all the time. {Pause.) But, 
however, I guess I will try a dose of temperance, and kinder 
work it off. {Takes pledge-card, goes rapidly toward table. 
Farley comes front of bar flourishing bottle. Bob throws him 
behind bar again.) 

Far. How clear out! 

Bob. Now you keep quiet. This meeting hain’t adjourned 
yet. {Goes to table and signs quickly. Hadley and Slater 
shake hands with him, Slater first pinning on ribbon.) 

Sla. Bravo, Bob ! stick to your pledge. 

Had. Robert, keep your ribbon in sight. Come, Charles ! 

Chas. Farley, I have drank my last glass of your poison. 
When I am fully restored to manhood I may forgive you, but 
shall never more frequent this gate to ruin. {Exit Slater, 
Hadley, and Thornley r. 2 e. Bob looks at Farley, who is 
leaning over bar dejectedly. Bob begins to laugh, and points at 
Farley. Comes down r.) 

Bob. Ha, ha, ha ! Old Farley looks just as though he'd lost 
all of his friends, and all his relations was in the penitentiary. 
Ha, ha, ha ! {Looks at bar.) I am getting awfully dry. I wonder 
how water will taste ! I reckon that it will give me a surprise 
party. I’d like a drink ; but then—this ribbon. 

Far. Come up {hie), Bob, and (hie) take a drink. You only 
{hie) signed that pledge to fool the fools. Come up ! {hie) 
Come up ! 

Bob. (Aside.) Now comes the tug-of-war. {Going to end of 


34 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


bar, and pushing back the bottle and glass which F alley has set out.) 
Farley, I have expended the most of my earnings for a number 
of years at your bar. Now I have got so seedy and drink so 
much liquor that Hollis says that if I do not stop drinking so 
much whiskey and dress better he’ll discharge me. Now I’ve 
signed that pledge and donned this ribbon, and I am going to 
s-t-i-c-k ( spelled very slowly) stick. (Shouted very loudly in Far- 
ley’s ear. Farley leaps back.) And allow me to inform you 
that I consider any person who will try to induce a fellow to 
go back on that ribbon, beneath the dignity of a ground-hog. 

Far. {Coming from behind bar, and pointing.) Bob Brittle, 
you’re {hie) a fool ! 

Bob. {Seizing him.) “ Thou call’st me fool! I call thee liar ! 
And if thou gettest me mad, I’ll tear thee limb from limb,” 
and throw your bones to some hungry bull-dog. {Throwshim 
down at end of bar. He half rises on elboic.) 

Far. Bob Brittle, you’re (hie) a fool ! 
r Bob. John Farley, erase from the catalogue of your custom¬ 
ers the name of Robert Brittle, Esquire, and consider our friend¬ 
ship at an end forever. 

Far. {Quickly.) You’re (hie) a fool ! 

Bob. I never more shall enter within the radius of your con¬ 
taminating influence, or breathe again the polluted air of your 
diabolical den of evil. 

Far. {Still in position on floor.) You’re a fo— {hie) —ol ! 

Bob. I go to do great deeds, for within the hour, 

The innocent shall triumph and the villain feel my 
power. 

[Exit Bob r. 2 e., Farley repeating 11 You're a ftolfl etc. 

Street or landscape {either icill do) closed in by 
SCENE II.— Street or landscape. 

[Enter r. 1 e. Hadley, followed by Slater and Charles.] 

Had. How gloriously the great work of reform goes on. 1 
trust that it will not be long ere this town cam boast that it has 
no grog-shop within its jurisdiction. 

Sla. And may the good work progress all over our land, un¬ 
til the tires of the distilleries are quenched and the white flag 
of temperance floats from every housetop, every dome and bal¬ 
cony of this our beloved country. 

Chas. I can indorse all of your enthusiastic remarks, but I 
feel that I am not free from the grasp of the demon. Yet it is 
a fight between me and old King Alcohol, but with Heaven’s 
help I’ll conquer. 

[Enter Brittle hastily r. 1 e. Runs across stage to Hadley. 

Hands package, apparently legal papers tied together.] 


TIIE SOCIAL GLASS. 


35 


Bob. Mr. Hadley, here is a package which I wish you to take 
charge of. Inclosed is an explanation. 

Now question me not, for I must away. 

Strange things will come to pass this day ; 

Strange secrets doth that package hold, 

And stranger the tale that I'll unfold. 

[Exit Bob hastily l. 1 e. 

Had. I cannot fathom Brittle ; he is either a fool or a knave, 
or else a deep devoted friend to you, Charles. We have always 
regarded him as a tool in the hands of Hollis. If this be true, 
this package may be a part of their plot. Be this as it may, I 
trust that Hollis’ frauds will in some way be brought to light, 
and a part, at least, of your fortune be restored. 

Sla. I propose, Mr. Hadley, that we return to your office and 
examine the package, while Charles returns to his sorrow- 
stricken home to gladden the heart of his weeping wife by ex¬ 
hibiting that emblem of happiness. ( Pointing to Charles’ 
ribbon.) 

Had. A good thought. And this evening I wish you both 
to visit Farley’s with me. I fear that he has the tremens com¬ 
ing on, and I feel it our duty to assist him all in our power. 

[Exit Charles, followed by Hadley and Slater r. 1 e. 

Bob. {Re-entering l. 1 e. Watching them off.) Ah! they have 
gone to examine the package. That’s all right. {Looking l.) 
By all the powers ! here comes the bewitcher of my heart, 
the June blossom of my affections, and the rosebud of my hopes ! 
How I long to clasp her to my heart and hear her exclaim, 
“ Dear Robert, hug me good !” {Leans against l. 1 wing, 
staring.) 

[Enter Nettie Nettleby r. 1 e. Stops and gazes at Bob.) 

N. N. Well, what are you staring at ? Are you moonstruck ? 
or have you been drinking too many gin sours to-day ? (Bob 
steps forward.) 

Bob. Dare you accuse me of imbibing that intoxicating and 
exhilarating and infatuating beverage usually termed gin sour ? 
Would you insult me, madam ? 7, who have so lately re¬ 

nounced the wine-cup and espoused the temperance cause ? 
{Showing ribbon.) 

N. N. You espoused the temperance cause ! How long 
since ? 

Bob. Oh, ho ! it’s a long while. I should say it was more 
than a half hour. But I must confess that I am getting rather 
thirsty, and water don’t seem to be thick enough. 

N. N. Oh, there is no danger of old Farley’s losing your 
custom. (Bob indignant.) But, Bob, why have you never told 
me about those papers I saw in Squire Hollis’ office ? Now 
there's something wrong about it (Bob striding from l. to c.), and 


36 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


folks do say that you are Hollis’ light-hand man in knavery 
and fraud. Umph ! I do like to make folks happy. (Brit¬ 
tle l. c.) 

Bob. Miss Nettleby, “ He that steals my purse—” 

N. N. (Quickly.) Don’t find much cash in it. 

Bob. ( Very excited.) “But lie that robs me of my good 
name—” 

N. N. (Quickly.) Makes a bad bargain. 

Bob. Don’t interrupt me. Miss Nettleby, thou think’st me 
a villain. Canst thou keep a secret ? 

N. N. Oh, stop that stage-struck style. Yes, I can keep a 
secret. (Bob goes to l. 1 e., then crosses to k. 1 e., comes r. c. 
very mysteriously.) 

Bob. Hush ! Come here ! come nearer ! Are you sure that 
you can keep a secret ? 

N. N. (Eagerly.) Yes, yes, I am sure I can keep a secret. 

Bob. (Places hand to mouth and mouth near her ear , and loudly 
hauling.) So can I. 

N. N. (Springing hack.) Oh, you brute ! you fool ! you 
great big stupid ! 

Bob. (Mocking.) Umpli ! I do like to make folks happy. 

N. N. Oh, I will pay you for this when the trial comes off 
about Hollis’ mortgage on the Thornley mansion (Bob again 
showing anger. Striding from r. to c.), for they do say that it is 
a forgery, and that you had a hand in it. (Bob very angry.) 
Umpli ! I do like to make folks happy. 

Bob. (Stopping r.) Miss Nettleby, look at this noble brow 
—this broad, expansive forehead—this well-developed cranium ! 

N. N. Yes, a regular swell-head. 

Bob. Illiterate damsel, do not interrupt me. (Aside.) 
Pshaw ! why do I waste words with her ? It is casting pearls 
before swine. 

But duty calls, and I must away, 

For e’er the morrow’s dawn of day, 

Bob Brittle will surprise the world, 

For on the outer walls my banner is unfurled. 

[Exit R. 1 E. 

N. N. (Calling.) Mister Brittle ! Mister Brittle ! 

[ Pe-enter Bob r. 1 e. Makes low how.] 

Boil My darling Miss*Nettleby, what do you desire ? 

N. N. I advise you to drink hop tea ; it is said to be very 
quieting to the nerves. (Laughing.) 

Bob. (Again excited.) Oh, pshaw ! 

f Exits indignantly r. 1 e. 

N. N. Umph ! I do like to make folks happy. 

[Exit Nettie Nettleby l. 1 e. 


The social glass. 


37 


SCENE III.— Farley’s bar-room again as before. Farley dis¬ 
covered in same condition, lying on floor near end of bar 
repeating , “ You're a fool” etc. 


[Enter Mrs. Farley, l. 2 e. Goes to Farley. Attempts to 

raise him. ] 

Mrs. F. What is the matter, John ? 

Far. ( Springing up and glaring at end of bar.) What ! what 
is that monster sitting on the bar ? Ha, ha, ha ! 

Mrs. F. Why, John, there is nothing there, it is only your 
imagination. 

O # • 

Far. It’s a lie ! I can see his eyes glare. (Recovering. ) No, 
no ; it is as you say—only imagination. (Silting in chair r. 
near table.) Oh, how wretched I am ! There, wife, leave me 
now ; I will be. all right soon. 

Mrs. F. No, John, I must remain with you until you arc 
better. (Nettie Nettleby heard offi,. 2 e.) 

N. N. Mrs. Farley ! Mrs. Farley ! (Enters l. 2 e.) Oh, here 
you are. (Crosses ton.) 

Far. [Going behind bar.) What do you want, you gossiping 
fool? 

N. N. Oh, I come to tell you the good news. I just saw 
Charley Thornley with Mr. Hadley and Dr. Slater, and Charles 
had a nice new ribbon on his coat. So, you see, old toddy- 
stick, you will never have a chance to rob or drug him again. 

Far. Who says that I robbed Thornley ? 

N. N. Everybody ! And they do say that when the trial comes 
off about the Thornley mortgage, it will be proven that you 
was in the plot. (Mrs. Farley in chair weeping. Farley 
very excited.) Umpli ! I do like to make folks happy. 

Far. If you don’t (hie) get out of here, you meddlesome old 
(hie) windmill, I’ll be the death of you ! 

N. N. Oh, you can’t scare me, old you rum-cask. I came 
here to free my mind. 

Mrs. F. (Rising.) Please, Miss Nettleby, do not vex John ; 
for he is ill to-day and cannot bear it. 

N. N. He is drunk ; that’s what is the matter with him ; but 
for your sake I will go. I pity you. but then you don’t deserve 
it, for they do say that you gave Farley the first glass of wine 
lie ever tasted. (Mrs. Farley sinks to chair weeping. Farley 
excitedly seizes bottle.) Umpli ! I do like to make folks happy. 

Far. (Raising bottle.) Now, you confounded (hie) old gossip, 
clear out of here, or I’ll throw this bottle at your head. 

N. N. Oh, don’t you dare throw that at me! You had bet¬ 
ter go to bed and sober off. (Farley threatening with bottle.) 
Oh, throw it. (Farley throws. It misses.) You’re too drunk 
to hit a flock of barns. Umph ! I do like to make folks happy. 

[Exit Nettie Nettleby r. 2 e. 


38 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. « 


[Farley pours liquor. Is about to drink , holding glass in left 
hand. Mrs. Farley goes quickly to bar, seizes tumbler , sits 
it on bar. Farley seizes her wrist with left hand , draws trick 
bottle from under bar with right hand. Gomes around bar 
speaking ,* Mrs. Farley at the same time pleading and 
struggling. ] 

Far. Clear out, you temptress ! you fiend ! {Bottle raised .) 

Mrs. F. (At the same time , so that their voices are mingled.) 
Oh, John ! John ! don’t ! Don’t kill me 1 

Music Tremolo. 

[Music changes to PleyeVs German Hymn , very soft until end of act. 

All speak through the music. 

Far., You have been haunting me for months—ay, for 
years. And now I will have my revenge ! Die ! ( Strikes her 

on the head with bottle. She drops to one knee.) Die, foul mon¬ 
ster ! ( Repeats blow. She falls to stage. Farley throws bottle 
alongside of her.) Ha, ha, ha ! I have conquered, and now I am 
free. Ha, ha, ha! more, more rum! ( Goes behind bar for 
drinks. Then leans over bar long enough to count ten. Seemingly 
asleep. Arouses , looks wildly around room.) Wife ! wife ! 
( Looks over bar. Discovers her.) What is the matter ? Wife, 
what is the matter ? Come, get up and get me some supper ! 
(Going around bar.) What is the matter ! Lookup! Speak! 
(Kneels arid peers in her face , then springs to feet.) Good 
Heavens ! she is dead. Oh, it all comes to me now : I have 
murdered her ! Henceforth I must wander an Ishmael upon the 
earth, with the brand of Cain upon my brow. But no, no 1 the 
penalty is the gallows—yes, the gallows ! (Again delirious.) 
Ha, ha, ha ! but I will cheat them all ; yes, I will cheat them 
all. (Goes behind bar , takes phial which has white sugar in it, 
and pours a part of it in tumbler. Adds whiskey. Tea should be 
used to represent whiskey. Drinks. Leaves phial on bar. Stag¬ 
gers front of bar.) Ha, ha, ha ! I have cheated them all ! Yes, 
yes— (Pause. Goes to wife, kneels beside her , and in piteous 
tones.) Oh, wife, wife, why did you tempt me with that first 
glass of wine ? Little did you think that it would rob us both 
of health, wealth, happiness, and life. (Weeping. Then spring¬ 
ing up.) Hark ! hark ! I hear them coming. Ha, ha, ha ! 
They would take me to the gallows ; but I have cheated them 
all ; yes, for the poison already begins its work ! Ha, ha, ha ! 
(Falls.) 

[ Enter Hadley, Slater, and Charles, r. 2 e. They exhibit as¬ 
tonishment and seem uncertain what to do or say at first , but 
Slater, physician-like , goes to Mrs. Farley and kneels. 
Examines her head , showing contusion.) 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


39 


Had. {Recovering.) Good Heavens! what can have happened 
here. (Goes to l. Charles searches room.) 

Sla. Mrs. Farley is dead. Her skull is fractured, evidently 
from a blow inflicted with a bottle. ( Goes to Farley. Speaks 
rapidly.) Farley seems in the agonies of death. 

Chas. {Having discovered pi dal on bar, hands it to Slater.) 
Doctor, what is this ? 

Sla. {First smelling , then pouring in hand and robbing icith 
Jingers.) Strychnine ! evidently a powerful dose. I will go to 
the druggist for an antidote, and also have the coroner called. 

[Exit r. 1 E. 

Chas. (c.) What warning this is to rae-I who sa lately have 
renounced the wine-cup ! 

Had. (l.) And it should teach each and all to beware of 
“ The Social Glass, ” lest they end their lives like these poor 
victims of the bottle. 


Slow Drop. End of Act. 


ACT Y. 


SCENE I.—Hollis’ law office as in Act III. Hollis discovered 
seated. Bowie-knife in table-drawer. Mortgage and papers 
on table. 

IIol. (Solus.) So, Hadley is retained by Thornley. Now I 
must proceed carefully, for Hadley is shrewd and keen. I 
wish that. Thornley had engaged some other lawyer, for Hadley 
is above bribery. However, Brittle did imitate Thornley’s sig¬ 
nature nicely, and Charles was so drunk and stupid that night 
Thornley cannot take oath to its being a forgery. Now, to 
look over the mortgage. (Examines mortgage.) What the deuce 
is this ? The mortgage surely, but no names signed to it, and 
no number of registry. This must be a copy. (Enter Bob l. 
1 e. Dressed nobby and ribbon on coat. His nose not quite so 
red as in Act IV. Crosses e. Hollis rises , comes l. c.) Ah, 
Brittle, I am glad you have come. Did you have the Thornley 
mortgage recorded, as I ordered you at the time it was given ? 

Bob. I have the supreme pleasure of informing you that I 
did—ha, ha, ha !—not. 

Hol. The devil ! Why did you not ? (Aside.) What does 
this mean ? I will lock the outer door to prevent intrusion. 
(Exits l. 1 e. Re-enters, key in hand, which he places in pocket.) 
He is now completely in my power. I gave you two thousand 
dollars to sign certain names to certain documents. 

Bob. And didn’t I do it ? 

Hol. Where is the Thornley mortgage ? 

Bob. There you have it, on the table. 

Hol. But there are no names signed to it. 

Bob. Well, you see, boss, it is a kinder “hocus poeus” 
game— now you see it, and now you don’t. It isn’t the legiti¬ 
mate style, but a kinder “ side show.” 

Hol. Brittle, I believe that you have been playing me false ; 
if so, you will find it risky business trifling with me. 

Bob. (Coolly placing chair l. of table, and taking a seat r. of 
table.) Sit down, boss. Don’t let your angry passions rise. 
But I have forgot that little melodv. 

IIol. Curse your impudence ! (Aside.) But, no ; I must 
not get excited ; I must work easy, and learn the extent of his 
treachery. (Sits.) Well, Robert, what have you to say ? 

Bob. Well, boss, that’s just what I was going to ask "you. 

Hol. There is the Thornley mortgage, with his name" signed 
as the principal and yours as the witness. ( Pause.}-■ 1 will no 


TIIE SOCIAL GLASS. 


41 


longer trifle with you. (Goes to table drawer, takes large Bowie- 
knife, and returns to seat.) 

Bob. (Shoving his seat extreme 11 .) Now, boss, that looks as 
though you were getting stage-struck. 

Hol.' Where is the Thornley mortgage ? 

Bob. There, on the table. Now, boss, allow me the extreme 
felicity of informing you that I once saw a drama — 

Hol. (Quickly.) Oh, the devil take the drama ! 

Bob. And a part of the language of the play— 

Hol. Oh, the deuce take the play ! 

Bob. I always remembered. It was this : “ Promises made 
to be broken should be written in sand.' 1 ' 1 

Hol. (Rising.) What has this rigamarole to do with the 
mortgage ? 

Bob. ( Rising and backing off against icing.) Oh, keep quiet ! 
Don’t let that amiable disposition get riled ; it will only make 
you bilious. 

Hol. (Sitting.) Well, the mortgage ! 

Bob. (Sitting.) You gave me two thousand dollars to forge 
the name of Charles Thornley to that mortgage, and, remem¬ 
bering the language of the play, I wrote his name, as well as 
that of my own, in a solution of gum arabic and water, and 
sprinkled it with blotting sand. The sand and solution have 
become dry, the sand has fallen olf, and, hocus pocus, the 
names have flown ! (Hollis leaps to feet. Bob the same , backing 
against icing, constantly showing fear.) Hold on, boss ! Don’t 
interrupt my little story. I deposited the two thousand dollars 
to the credit of Eva Thornley in the savings bank. 

Hol. And you have been playing me false all this time, 
traitor f (Raises knife. But Hollis lets knife hand fall by his 
side when Bob commences to speak , so as to learn the extent of h is 
duplicity .) 

Bob. No, no, not* traitor , but detective. Ahem ! self- 
appointed detective. Now, listen, boss. Charles Thornley’s 
father was my best earthly fiiend. I saw through your 
villainy, and vowed to save Charles Thornley’s fortune. I have 
done it ! Charles and all the townsfolks believed me a tool in 
your hands, but now they will know that Bob Brittle is an 
honest man ! 

Hol. Brittle, your life is in my hands, and I will not be 
foiled. Enter into my plot, and I will make you a rich man ; 
refuse , and I will murder you in an hour. I have sworn to beg¬ 
gar Eva Thornley, and I will keep my oath. All the estate is 
now in my hands except the homestead. Sign that mortgage, 
and that will be mine. (Raising knife.) Sign it ! (Business 
repeated .) 

Bob. Hush ! your temper hold, 

And an enormous tale I will unfold. 

The original Thornley will, the original bonds, stocks, - and 


42 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


mortgages, are now in the hands of Harold Hadley, and soon 
the officers of the law will be here to airest you. (Hollis 

staggers to extreme left.) 

Hol. Then 1 am indeed ruined. But. no, the papers were in 
my inner vault, and the key in my pocket. Who opened it ? 

Bob. Well, boss, I cannot tell i lie ; 1 did it with my little 
key. 

Hol. Then I am disgraced and ruined forever. But you, 
traitor , shall die. ( Raises knife. Is rushing toward him. Bob 
aims tioo revolvers , which he draws from coat packets. Picture.) 
Bob. You’re euchred, boss ; for I hold both bowers. 

Closed in. Quick change to Street or Landscape in first groove , 
which is 


SCENE II. 

[Enter Slater r. Hadley enters l., meeting.] 

Had. How fast startling events do crowd upon us. Last week 
the murder of Mrs. Farley by her husband, and noio Hollis, it 
is rumored, has cut his throat. Is it true ? 

Sla. Yes, it is true. Yesterday Brittle informed him that all 
of his villainy was exposed. Hollis then made an attempt upon 
Brittle’s life, which Bob cleverly foiled ; and learning that the 
officers were about to arrest him, he cut his throat, and now lies 
dead in his office. I have been summoned to sit on the coro¬ 
ner’s jury. But here comes Brittle. ( Enter Brittle r. 1 e.) 
Good-morning, Robert ! ( Shaking hands , Brittle passing be¬ 

tween Hadley and Slater.) 

Bob. Good-morning, gentlemen ! ( Shakes with Hadley.) 

Sla. Robert, you have proved a true friend to the son of 
your old benefactor. 

Had. And a true friend to yourself, for I see that you still 
wear the ribbon, and are picking up in every way. 

Sla. Well, Hadley, I can no longer delay. Please accom¬ 
pany me to the inquest. ( Crosses to l.) 

Had. I will, doctor. Good-by, Brittle. If I can assist you 
at any time, I am at your service ; only stick to our motto, 
“ Dare to do right /” [Exit* l. 1 e. Slater and Hadley. 

Bob. (Solus.) Well, well, what will happen next? What 
strange things do come to pass ! First the Ribbon movement 
strikes the town like a thunderbolt, and all the old guzzlers, 
myself included, sign the pledge. The whiskey traffic stops. 
Old Farley gets the jim-jams by drinking his own benzine— 
lilts his wife a crack on the head. Verdict, death by the 
bottle. Then he suicides himself into kingdom come with 
strychnine. And Hollis, learning that his frauds were exposed, 
cuts his throat and goes to join his master in the infernal re¬ 
gions. (Pointing down.) Charley Thornley is going to turn the 
Rising Bun Hotel into an asylum for the cure of inebriation ; 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


43 


and I find myself like Micawber again, “Waiting for some¬ 
thing to turn up.” I know that I added fresh laurels to my 
brow by euchring Hollis in his little game of fraud, and that 
people have stopped calling me old Hollis’ knave. But what 
does it avail ? I am like Othello. “ My occupation’s gone.” 
How if I could induce Nettleby to marry me. (Nettie Net- 
tleby enters r. 1 e. Comes behind Bob, who is 'partially facing 
l.) I would have a nice snug little home, for she has a beau¬ 
tiful cottage and two acres of land, and a snug thousand at in¬ 
terest. Besides, as she is an orphan, there would be no old 
mother-in-laws to interfere. Oh, Nettleby ! (Nettie Net¬ 
tleby slaps him on back, lie jumps to l. very f rightened. ) 

N. N. Mr. Brittle, what have you to say derogatory to the 
character of my mother ? 

Bob. ( Going toward her, and attempting to speak. When he 
advances sice meets him with indignant expressions and gesticula¬ 
tions. Business repeated.) M-M-Miss Nettle— Oh, Lord ! Oh, 
dear! {advances) Miss Nettle— Oh, Lord ! {retreats) I’ve upset 
my kettle of fish. Miss Nettleby, I—I—have nothing to say de¬ 
rogatory to the character of your mother. I have no wish to 
disturb the poor old departed defunct. I was speaking of 
mother-in-laws in general. 

N. N. I have a great mind not to give you this letter. 
{Showing letter.) 

Bob. A letter for me ! Who is it from ? 

N. N. Perhaps it’s from one of your creditors. 

Bob. Insinuating damsel, know that the estate of Robert 
Brittle is solvent. Hand me the letter. ( She hands it, but just 
as his fingers are about to close upon it she pulls it away. Repeats. 
Bob angrily strides l.) 

N. N. Umph ! I do like to make folks happy. 

Bob. Miss Nettleby, I shall require the writer of that letter 
to send his letters, in the future, by the mail, and not by the 
fe- male. 

N. N. Now, Robert, don’t get angry. Here’s your letter. 
Mr. Thornley sent it. (Hands letter.) 

Bob. {Eagerly.) Mr. Thornley ? {Faces l. Opens and 
silently reads letter. Nettie Nettleby stands tip-toe peeping 
over his shoulder. Then goes extreme u.) 

N. N. {Aside.) A legacy of five thousand dollars, and a pres¬ 
ent of five thousand more. Oh, my ! Robert is rich now. Oh, 
my ! if he would only propose now. 

Bob. ( Left aside.) Now, Bob Brittle, something his turned 
up. Now I’ll get married to some nice young lady and go oif 
on a wedding-tour. How fortunate it is that I have left oil 
imbibing, for not a penny of this shall go for whiskey. 

N. N. (Right.) Robert ! Ahem ! Mr. Brittle ! is the news 
good, or are some of your relations dead ? ( Getting toward c. 

slowly and coquettishly.) 


44 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


Bob. ( Going toward c.) Miss Nettleby, Robert Brittle is an 
orphan, with not a*living relative. The news is good. ( Get¬ 
ting nearer.) 

N. N. I am glad of it, for you know that I do like to make 
folks happy. 

Bob. (Aside.) Egad ! that letter has made me so happy that 
I would like to kiss the bearer. (Kisses her.) 

1ST. N. (Stamping foot and pretending to he angry.) Bob Brit¬ 
tle ! I should think that you would be ashamed of yourself. 

Bob. Now, now, Net-Net-Nettie, don’t go to getting mad. 
I was only paying the postage on that letter—and you know my T 
breath don’t smell of gin sour now. 

N. N. And—and—your nose ain’t— quite so red? 

Bob. (Aside.) Ah ! if I could induce her to marry me now, 
while she doesn’t know that I am rich, I should know that she 
loved me for myself alone, and not for my money. Nettie, I 
want to—to tell you something. 

N. N. (Getting close together. Yankee courtship business.) 
What is it, Robert ? 

Bob. I’m—I’m—I’m — 

N. N. Well, I guess you am! 

Bob. I am going to get married ! 

N. N. (Backing r.) I did not know that you were engaged. 
Who is the young lady ? 

Bob. Why, ah — (twiddling thumbs) — ah—why—ah— you. 
That is, if you’ll have me. 

N. N. Why, Mister Brittle ! 

Bob. (Both close together.) Now, Nettie, I have been think¬ 
ing what a nice place your cottage could be made into. We’d 
put in bay windows and repaint it, and build a balcony and 
portico. We’d fix up the garden with arbors and fountains, 
and have a nice orchard. We’d keep a pony, a pig, and cow, 
and ducks, and geese, and chickens, and we’d have a nice lawn 
in front of the house. Come, what do you say—will you marry 
me ? 

N. N. I—want to—think about it. 

Bob. (Grossing to r., Nettie Nettleby to l.) Only think 
what delightful walks we would have when the moon was shin¬ 
ing in all its transcendent beauty. “ We’d wander by the 
brookside,” or “through the garden while the perfumed 
light steals through the mists of alabaster lamps, heavy with 
the sighs of orange groves, or murmurs'of low gushing—” 

N. N. (Quickly.) Oh, pshaw ! you are altogether too gushing 
now. 

Bob. Nay, gentle maiden, let not a frown darken that 
snow-white brow, but name the day that you’ll be Mrs. Brittle. 

N. N. Are you sure that you will never drink any more gin 

SOU'S ? 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


45 


N. N. Will you leave off spouting theatrical nonsense, and 
stop writing play-books ? 

Bob. Yes, for Shakespeare, Dion Boucicault, and Bartley 
Campbell have overstocked the market. 

N. N. Then four weeks from next Sunday. 

Bob. Hurrah ! I am going to marry a girl that loves me for 
myself alone, and not for my money. And know, darling Net- 
tleby, that I am rich ; for old Mr. Tkornley’s will bequeaths me 
five thousand dollars, and Charley Thornley gives me five thou¬ 
sand more for spoiling old Hollis’ little game of fraud. 

N. N. Ha, ha, ha ! Well, I knew all that before. 

Bob. (. Astonished and angry.) The deuce you did ! How 
did you obtain the information ? 

N. N. {Laughing.) I looked over your shoulder while you 
were reading the letter. 

Bob. {Striding it.) Then—then—you—you—don’t love me 
for myself alone ? 

N. N. N-o ! 

Bob. Is it for my money ? 

N N. 1ST—o ! 

Bob. Then what is the inducement ? 

N. N. Because I do love to make folks happy. 

[Nettie Nettleby exit l. 1 e. laughing. 

Bob. TJmph ! I am sold ; and, as usual, she has got the best 
of me. [Exit l. 1 e. 

Scene changes , and shows 

SCENE LAST.'— Tiiounley’s sitting-room. Guests {the number- 
to suit size of stage and talent) having a social 'party. Ladies 
and gents all wearing the ribbon. Or if Eva sings, the guests 
may be dispensed with. The social party is the most popular. 
As scene changes they sing some modern song . At close of song, 

DIALOC4UE commences. 

Chas. Friends, how happily passes the time, and bow I en¬ 
joy the comforts of my home since I banished the bottle from 
our house, the wine-cup from my lips, and became a temper¬ 
ance man. 

Eva. You may then judge of my feelings to see you a man 
once more, beloved and respected by your fellow-men. Oh, 
you know not how my heart throbbed with joy when you made 
a solemn vow to abstain forever from intoxicating liquors ! It 
seemed an answer to my prayers, for during the dark days of 
your disgrace I never lost faith in prayer, or in the efficacy of 
the good principles taught you by your Christian mother while 
a youth. 

Chas. Eva, I do believe that the principles taught me by my 
mother was my salvation. And I do believe that there never 


46 


THE SOCIAL GLASS. 


/ 


was a man so degraded, so debased, but what in his sober 
moments would acknowledge, to himself, that he often felt the 
iniluence of his mother’s love and good advice. 

[Eater Hadley and Slater l. 2 e. The courtesies of society 
extended, and Hadley and Slater stand r., Charles and 
Eva c. Guests in background .] 

Ciias. Welcome to our house, my friends. 

[As Hadley and Slater enter , enter Brittle l. 2 e.] 

Eya. And here is Mr. Biittle—he who saved our fortune. 
Thanks, and welcome to our now happy home ! ( Business re¬ 

peated. Enter Nettie Nettleby.) And here is Miss Nettleby 1 

Bob. (At l. of Charles. Quickly.) Or rather the future 
Mrs. Brittle. 

N. N. {Quickly.) Don’t tell all you know, Brittle. 

Ciias. Brittle, allow me to congratulate you, for to you I owe 
much ; for you saved my fortune by your shrewdness. 

Bob. And. you amply rewarded me ; so that balances 
accounts. 

Eva. And now, kind friends, we will pass a social evening, 
our happiness unmarred by that tempter, the wine-cup. 

Ciias. And let the past teach us that “ The Social Glass” is 
but the first step on the road to ruin and disgrace. 

Sla. And if we are ever tempted to depart from the princi¬ 
ples of temperance, let us remember the victims of the bottle. 

Had. And may we all lend our influence to stop the progress 
of intemperance, and to induce both old and young to adopt as 
their beverage the liquid nature brews, sparkling water. 
{,Stepping forward to c.) And now, kind friends— 

Bob. ( Quickly leaving him back and stepping to l. c.) 

One moment, Hadley : your rather lag ; 

I claim it my privilege to speak the tag. 

{To audience.) 

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me your attention. 

I thank you for your condescension, 

Liberal patronage, and applause, 

And hope that you will all join our cause. 

(Nettleby pulls Bob back.) 

N. N. Now, Brittle, you’ve said just enough. Don’t get 
soft and sappy ! 

Bob. Don’t interrupt me ! 

N. N. {To audience.) Umph ! I do like to make folks 
happy. 


Disposition of Characters on next page. 



DISPOSITION OF CHARACTERS. 


GUESTS. 


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AND CHARLES. 






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4 






CURTAIN. 




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